Alan Hylands
@alanhylands.com
Data nerd and occasional writer (alanhylands.com).
Is this the super-tanker he's turning?
January 17, 2026 at 8:16 PM
Is this the super-tanker he's turning?
Same, new low point of the season on a personal level.
January 17, 2026 at 5:48 PM
Same, new low point of the season on a personal level.
Dr Tottenham, the undisputed greatest medical professional of all time.
January 17, 2026 at 5:08 PM
Dr Tottenham, the undisputed greatest medical professional of all time.
Nuno's Revenge looks to be complete. Dear oh dear.
January 17, 2026 at 4:58 PM
Nuno's Revenge looks to be complete. Dear oh dear.
I think if Agent Vinai really believes in that spiel he put out about ambitions and intention he should come out at halftime with Coyte, read it out in full and see how the matchgoing crowd feel about it. If things are going south he can trot out that red wine drinking with Levy anecdote again.
January 17, 2026 at 3:36 PM
I think if Agent Vinai really believes in that spiel he put out about ambitions and intention he should come out at halftime with Coyte, read it out in full and see how the matchgoing crowd feel about it. If things are going south he can trot out that red wine drinking with Levy anecdote again.
Reposted by Alan Hylands
Imagine getting Nunoed by Nuno
January 17, 2026 at 3:28 PM
Imagine getting Nunoed by Nuno
Another great post Alan. Bleak it may be but you're absolutely spot on. Hard to see the silver lining at any point at the minute.
January 9, 2026 at 2:42 PM
Another great post Alan. Bleak it may be but you're absolutely spot on. Hard to see the silver lining at any point at the minute.
True. These "they stuck with Arteta and now look at them" stories always miss out the other side of the story where they pumped 100s of millions into continually improving every area of their squad. Funny how that part of the equation gets glossed over.
January 7, 2026 at 10:49 AM
True. These "they stuck with Arteta and now look at them" stories always miss out the other side of the story where they pumped 100s of millions into continually improving every area of their squad. Funny how that part of the equation gets glossed over.
Agent Vinai is going to inherit Levy's other role as lightning rod for the fans' dissatisfaction pretty soon if he thinks turning Spurs into a Goon clone is the way forward.
January 7, 2026 at 10:14 AM
Agent Vinai is going to inherit Levy's other role as lightning rod for the fans' dissatisfaction pretty soon if he thinks turning Spurs into a Goon clone is the way forward.
Would love to know which bland, tasteless slopfest of a restaurant he was in for starters.
January 1, 2026 at 9:55 PM
Would love to know which bland, tasteless slopfest of a restaurant he was in for starters.
Livestream it for the rest of us.
January 1, 2026 at 8:42 PM
Livestream it for the rest of us.
If those same sets of players from 1982 played each other again tonight there would be more pace and excitement on the pitch than this borefest. I know which game I'd rather be watching.
January 1, 2026 at 8:40 PM
If those same sets of players from 1982 played each other again tonight there would be more pace and excitement on the pitch than this borefest. I know which game I'd rather be watching.
Should be the same 8 second rule as for keepers holding the ball.
December 20, 2025 at 5:47 PM
Should be the same 8 second rule as for keepers holding the ball.
Reposted by Alan Hylands
Finn Wolfhard directed a video of George Harrison's Give Me Love (Give Me Peace On Earth) and it's lovely. You should watch it.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0d_...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0d_...
George Harrison - Give Me Love (Give Me Peace on Earth) [Official Video]
YouTube video by George Harrison
www.youtube.com
December 17, 2025 at 10:07 AM
Finn Wolfhard directed a video of George Harrison's Give Me Love (Give Me Peace On Earth) and it's lovely. You should watch it.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0d_...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0d_...
Reposted by Alan Hylands
Attention freelance football writers ⤵️ #mediajobs
December 15, 2025 at 10:41 PM
Attention freelance football writers ⤵️ #mediajobs
Must have sold all of ours already. Can't give these ones away.
November 28, 2025 at 4:34 PM
Must have sold all of ours already. Can't give these ones away.
Chris Rock used to do that bit about when he worked in McDonald's for minimum wage.
November 26, 2025 at 9:19 AM
Chris Rock used to do that bit about when he worked in McDonald's for minimum wage.
Mikel Jack, U15 England international keeper according to @michaelham1973.bsky.social bsky.app/profile/mich...
Young goalkeeper Mikel Jack seen training with the 1st team for the first time.
Mikel is already very highly regarded at Spurs and signed his scholarship as an U14. England U15 international keeper.
Mikel is already very highly regarded at Spurs and signed his scholarship as an U14. England U15 international keeper.
October 17, 2025 at 6:52 PM
Mikel Jack, U15 England international keeper according to @michaelham1973.bsky.social bsky.app/profile/mich...
Mabbs, Fenwick, Hughton, Stevens, Allen
October 5, 2025 at 7:19 PM
Mabbs, Fenwick, Hughton, Stevens, Allen
Johnson again, ole ole
September 24, 2025 at 8:39 PM
Johnson again, ole ole
If it's the same comms as Sky Sports, it's Chris Iwelumo.
September 24, 2025 at 7:11 PM
If it's the same comms as Sky Sports, it's Chris Iwelumo.
Brilliant work as always David.
September 9, 2025 at 10:51 AM
Brilliant work as always David.
Reposted by Alan Hylands
Here’s this week’s cartoon for @sport.theguardian.com www.theguardian.com/football/pic...
David Squires on … Daniel Levy’s greatest hits at Tottenham Hotspur
Our cartoonist looks back at a departed hero’s memorable moments after his 25-year reign at Spurs
www.theguardian.com
September 9, 2025 at 10:45 AM
Here’s this week’s cartoon for @sport.theguardian.com www.theguardian.com/football/pic...