In honor of Ron Funches’ unjust exit from “The Traitors,” I will now refer to anyone who has been wronged as having been “funched.”

The rate at which people on “The Traitors” use the wrong word or use words wrong is staggering to me.

Our town canceled recycling collection for the week due to weather (totally get it, respect borough workers, etc.). But …

It was paper and cardboard week. And they won’t pick up paper and cardboard again until the second week of February. And guys, we have so much cardboard.

What a weird week today was.

Out of context, this message from my Verizon Agent is strangely poignant.

My cats are valiantly trying to eat these homemade treats we bought for them at a holiday market and I love them for that but they clearly do not like them.

Not me trying to put the toaster oven tray in the microwave.

An exhausting but not exhaustive list of nicknames for my cat Rigby:

An exhausting but not exhaustive list of my cat Ripley’s nicknames:

Rippy
Rippy-lee
(Miss) Rips
Ripple
Fudge Ripple
Fudge
Rippleton
Rippleton-lee
Rippletoni
Rippletoni-lee-lee (sung to the tune of Happy Birthday)
The Warrior
The Pea
(My) Lee-lee
Ripp-ae-tone
Rippers
Queen Darkscorn

I’ve been watching football since I was a kid and I don’t think I’ve ever seen an onside kick work out in favor of the kicking team.

I watched four Conjuring films in 72 hours in defiance of my fear of jump scares and haunted house movies. The fourth and final installment of the film series piqued my interest because it’s about a haunting close to my hometown. I binged the other movies to prepare. What happened next …

Search For Self Called Off After 38 Years theonion.com/search-...

Am I too late for the shitty jokes about the series finale of “And Just Like That”? I’m flush with them. I see it’s already being poo-pooed by the critics. #ajlt #andjustlikethat

A colleague with whom I was discussing the traditional hostility of reporters toward copy editors offered this succinct advice: Don't bite the hand that saves your ass.

My cat and I both reacted to the jump scare at the end of this week’s “Gilded Age.”

Newport Folk Festival highlights:

1. These two kids, hydrated, wearing sun protection and the right shoes. We’ve come a long way baby!