Cecilia Baress
@acecili.bsky.social
I’m amazed. I’m confused. I’ve been dazed. I’ve been used.
Pinned
What a weird week today was.
I seem to be getting the most use out of this term I’ve coined while playing Mario Kart World.
(Blue shell hits me)
“I’ve been funched!”
(Blue shell hits me)
“I’ve been funched!”
February 11, 2026 at 11:20 PM
I seem to be getting the most use out of this term I’ve coined while playing Mario Kart World.
(Blue shell hits me)
“I’ve been funched!”
(Blue shell hits me)
“I’ve been funched!”
In honor of Ron Funches’ unjust exit from “The Traitors,” I will now refer to anyone who has been wronged as having been “funched.”
February 11, 2026 at 11:18 PM
In honor of Ron Funches’ unjust exit from “The Traitors,” I will now refer to anyone who has been wronged as having been “funched.”
The rate at which people on “The Traitors” use the wrong word or use words wrong is staggering to me.
February 8, 2026 at 2:21 AM
The rate at which people on “The Traitors” use the wrong word or use words wrong is staggering to me.
Our town canceled recycling collection for the week due to weather (totally get it, respect borough workers, etc.). But …
It was paper and cardboard week. And they won’t pick up paper and cardboard again until the second week of February. And guys, we have so much cardboard.
It was paper and cardboard week. And they won’t pick up paper and cardboard again until the second week of February. And guys, we have so much cardboard.
January 26, 2026 at 10:20 PM
Our town canceled recycling collection for the week due to weather (totally get it, respect borough workers, etc.). But …
It was paper and cardboard week. And they won’t pick up paper and cardboard again until the second week of February. And guys, we have so much cardboard.
It was paper and cardboard week. And they won’t pick up paper and cardboard again until the second week of February. And guys, we have so much cardboard.
What a weird week today was.
January 15, 2026 at 4:33 AM
What a weird week today was.
Out of context, this message from my Verizon Agent is strangely poignant.
December 29, 2025 at 6:42 PM
Out of context, this message from my Verizon Agent is strangely poignant.
My cats are valiantly trying to eat these homemade treats we bought for them at a holiday market and I love them for that but they clearly do not like them.
December 15, 2025 at 8:29 PM
My cats are valiantly trying to eat these homemade treats we bought for them at a holiday market and I love them for that but they clearly do not like them.
Not me trying to put the toaster oven tray in the microwave.
a woman in a kitchen with a stove that is on fire and a can of coca cola
ALT: a woman in a kitchen with a stove that is on fire and a can of coca cola
media.tenor.com
December 11, 2025 at 6:02 PM
Not me trying to put the toaster oven tray in the microwave.
Geebs
Gee-bee
Gee-bee-bean
Gee-bee
Gee-bee-bean
October 26, 2025 at 4:05 AM
Geebs
Gee-bee
Gee-bee-bean
Gee-bee
Gee-bee-bean
Riggy
Riggers
Riggs
Riggy-B
Riggy The B (with fanfare)
The Bean
Smol Bean
Baby Girl
The Hunter
Riggers
Riggs
Riggy-B
Riggy The B (with fanfare)
The Bean
Smol Bean
Baby Girl
The Hunter
October 23, 2025 at 5:00 PM
Riggy
Riggers
Riggs
Riggy-B
Riggy The B (with fanfare)
The Bean
Smol Bean
Baby Girl
The Hunter
Riggers
Riggs
Riggy-B
Riggy The B (with fanfare)
The Bean
Smol Bean
Baby Girl
The Hunter
An exhausting but not exhaustive list of nicknames for my cat Rigby:
October 23, 2025 at 4:58 PM
An exhausting but not exhaustive list of nicknames for my cat Rigby:
Peels
Peely
Pee-lee-lee
Petey
Pete
Peely
Pee-lee-lee
Petey
Pete
October 23, 2025 at 4:55 PM
Peels
Peely
Pee-lee-lee
Petey
Pete
Peely
Pee-lee-lee
Petey
Pete
An exhausting but not exhaustive list of my cat Ripley’s nicknames:
Rippy
Rippy-lee
(Miss) Rips
Ripple
Fudge Ripple
Fudge
Rippleton
Rippleton-lee
Rippletoni
Rippletoni-lee-lee (sung to the tune of Happy Birthday)
The Warrior
The Pea
(My) Lee-lee
Ripp-ae-tone
Rippers
Queen Darkscorn
Rippy
Rippy-lee
(Miss) Rips
Ripple
Fudge Ripple
Fudge
Rippleton
Rippleton-lee
Rippletoni
Rippletoni-lee-lee (sung to the tune of Happy Birthday)
The Warrior
The Pea
(My) Lee-lee
Ripp-ae-tone
Rippers
Queen Darkscorn
October 22, 2025 at 7:36 PM
An exhausting but not exhaustive list of my cat Ripley’s nicknames:
Rippy
Rippy-lee
(Miss) Rips
Ripple
Fudge Ripple
Fudge
Rippleton
Rippleton-lee
Rippletoni
Rippletoni-lee-lee (sung to the tune of Happy Birthday)
The Warrior
The Pea
(My) Lee-lee
Ripp-ae-tone
Rippers
Queen Darkscorn
Rippy
Rippy-lee
(Miss) Rips
Ripple
Fudge Ripple
Fudge
Rippleton
Rippleton-lee
Rippletoni
Rippletoni-lee-lee (sung to the tune of Happy Birthday)
The Warrior
The Pea
(My) Lee-lee
Ripp-ae-tone
Rippers
Queen Darkscorn
I’ve been watching football since I was a kid and I don’t think I’ve ever seen an onside kick work out in favor of the kicking team.
September 12, 2025 at 3:20 AM
I’ve been watching football since I was a kid and I don’t think I’ve ever seen an onside kick work out in favor of the kicking team.
was disappointing! “The Conjuring Last Rites” purports to be about the Smurl haunting in West Pittston, Pennsylvania, but is barely so. The movie was instead slavishly self-serving to its rosy portrayal of the Warren family down to a laughable torch-passing scene involving a set of keys.
September 8, 2025 at 3:08 PM
was disappointing! “The Conjuring Last Rites” purports to be about the Smurl haunting in West Pittston, Pennsylvania, but is barely so. The movie was instead slavishly self-serving to its rosy portrayal of the Warren family down to a laughable torch-passing scene involving a set of keys.
I watched four Conjuring films in 72 hours in defiance of my fear of jump scares and haunted house movies. The fourth and final installment of the film series piqued my interest because it’s about a haunting close to my hometown. I binged the other movies to prepare. What happened next …
September 8, 2025 at 3:04 PM
I watched four Conjuring films in 72 hours in defiance of my fear of jump scares and haunted house movies. The fourth and final installment of the film series piqued my interest because it’s about a haunting close to my hometown. I binged the other movies to prepare. What happened next …
Reposted by Cecilia Baress
Search For Self Called Off After 38 Years theonion.com/search-...
August 16, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Search For Self Called Off After 38 Years theonion.com/search-...
Am I too late for the shitty jokes about the series finale of “And Just Like That”? I’m flush with them. I see it’s already being poo-pooed by the critics. #ajlt #andjustlikethat
August 15, 2025 at 6:05 PM
Am I too late for the shitty jokes about the series finale of “And Just Like That”? I’m flush with them. I see it’s already being poo-pooed by the critics. #ajlt #andjustlikethat
Reposted by Cecilia Baress
A colleague with whom I was discussing the traditional hostility of reporters toward copy editors offered this succinct advice: Don't bite the hand that saves your ass.
August 8, 2025 at 3:07 PM
A colleague with whom I was discussing the traditional hostility of reporters toward copy editors offered this succinct advice: Don't bite the hand that saves your ass.
My cat and I both reacted to the jump scare at the end of this week’s “Gilded Age.”
July 29, 2025 at 4:24 PM
My cat and I both reacted to the jump scare at the end of this week’s “Gilded Age.”
8. Location scouting for “The Gilded Age.”
July 29, 2025 at 3:32 AM
8. Location scouting for “The Gilded Age.”
7. Jo’s American Bistro, Parlor (for taking a 9:15 res), Atlantic Grill and Newport Creamery.
July 29, 2025 at 3:29 AM
7. Jo’s American Bistro, Parlor (for taking a 9:15 res), Atlantic Grill and Newport Creamery.
6. Ragged Island, The Guild, Pivotal and Taproot.
July 29, 2025 at 3:28 AM
6. Ragged Island, The Guild, Pivotal and Taproot.