The Posts Genius
@abigbagofkeys.sickonedude.com
please direct all business inquiries to the bottom of this pit in the woods
Throwing a hotdog directly into my buddy’s mouth like a dart
November 22, 2025 at 4:42 AM
Throwing a hotdog directly into my buddy’s mouth like a dart
Reposted by The Posts Genius
Frank Sinatra’s first draft
I'm Doing Masturbation My Way
November 8, 2025 at 3:56 AM
Frank Sinatra’s first draft
Aragorn gently touching the shards of the Sybian that rocked Sauron's puss clean off
October 29, 2025 at 1:00 AM
Aragorn gently touching the shards of the Sybian that rocked Sauron's puss clean off
Apparently Marilyn Manson had one of his arm bones removed so he could jack himself off
October 12, 2025 at 1:28 AM
Apparently Marilyn Manson had one of his arm bones removed so he could jack himself off
Alternative universe where instead of investing all the money in the world into generative AI, tech companies spent trillions trying to invent smellovision
October 9, 2025 at 12:11 AM
Alternative universe where instead of investing all the money in the world into generative AI, tech companies spent trillions trying to invent smellovision
𝚞/𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚛𝚐𝚞𝚢𝟷𝟾𝟽𝟹𝟿 [𝙱𝚎𝚎𝚛 𝙽𝚘𝚘𝚋]
Hey! I just tried a “Budweiser,” really enjoyed it! Anyone have any suggestions for my second beer?
𝚞/𝙴𝚕𝙲𝚎𝚛𝚟𝚎𝚣𝚊𝚂𝚞𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚘 [𝙱𝚛𝚎𝚠𝚖𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛 🥇]
Maybe come back when you’ve had your first beer 🙄
Hey! I just tried a “Budweiser,” really enjoyed it! Anyone have any suggestions for my second beer?
𝚞/𝙴𝚕𝙲𝚎𝚛𝚟𝚎𝚣𝚊𝚂𝚞𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚘 [𝙱𝚛𝚎𝚠𝚖𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛 🥇]
Maybe come back when you’ve had your first beer 🙄
October 3, 2025 at 5:40 AM
𝚞/𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚛𝚐𝚞𝚢𝟷𝟾𝟽𝟹𝟿 [𝙱𝚎𝚎𝚛 𝙽𝚘𝚘𝚋]
Hey! I just tried a “Budweiser,” really enjoyed it! Anyone have any suggestions for my second beer?
𝚞/𝙴𝚕𝙲𝚎𝚛𝚟𝚎𝚣𝚊𝚂𝚞𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚘 [𝙱𝚛𝚎𝚠𝚖𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛 🥇]
Maybe come back when you’ve had your first beer 🙄
Hey! I just tried a “Budweiser,” really enjoyed it! Anyone have any suggestions for my second beer?
𝚞/𝙴𝚕𝙲𝚎𝚛𝚟𝚎𝚣𝚊𝚂𝚞𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚘 [𝙱𝚛𝚎𝚠𝚖𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛 🥇]
Maybe come back when you’ve had your first beer 🙄
Dogshit ladder. Dreadful
Martin Puryear’s ‘Ladder for Booker T. Washington’ (1996). Collection Modern Art Museum Fort Worth, Texas
September 27, 2025 at 7:11 AM
Dogshit ladder. Dreadful
I put my ear to the ground. “There were milves here, recently. Hot ones.”
“What’d they want?” Asks the cowboy.
“There’s only one thing a milf wants. Sex.” I look back at him. “No strings attached.”
“Jesus Christ.”
“What’d they want?” Asks the cowboy.
“There’s only one thing a milf wants. Sex.” I look back at him. “No strings attached.”
“Jesus Christ.”
September 15, 2025 at 5:03 AM
I put my ear to the ground. “There were milves here, recently. Hot ones.”
“What’d they want?” Asks the cowboy.
“There’s only one thing a milf wants. Sex.” I look back at him. “No strings attached.”
“Jesus Christ.”
“What’d they want?” Asks the cowboy.
“There’s only one thing a milf wants. Sex.” I look back at him. “No strings attached.”
“Jesus Christ.”
Reposted by The Posts Genius
All I can say is, try to live your life in a way that doesn’t make millions of people do the celebration from the end of Return Of The Jedi when they learn about your death.
September 10, 2025 at 10:22 PM
All I can say is, try to live your life in a way that doesn’t make millions of people do the celebration from the end of Return Of The Jedi when they learn about your death.
Reposted by The Posts Genius
Friendly reminder that Donald Trump has never explicitly stated their pronouns.
September 7, 2025 at 3:25 AM
Friendly reminder that Donald Trump has never explicitly stated their pronouns.
Reposted by The Posts Genius
This is honestly such a dog shit URL. VERY displeasing to look at
September 4, 2025 at 7:02 AM
This is honestly such a dog shit URL. VERY displeasing to look at
Bluesky automatically saves your progress at certain points. When you see this icon, do not close Bluesky
September 1, 2025 at 9:33 PM
Bluesky automatically saves your progress at certain points. When you see this icon, do not close Bluesky
You’re all so credulous. He has simply been returned to the Golden Throne where 1000 psykers are sacrificed to maintain his body
August 30, 2025 at 11:17 AM
You’re all so credulous. He has simply been returned to the Golden Throne where 1000 psykers are sacrificed to maintain his body
Diarrhoea is the only disease people like having
August 28, 2025 at 5:52 AM
Diarrhoea is the only disease people like having
Criterion Closet but for porno
August 27, 2025 at 2:07 AM
Criterion Closet but for porno
tfw you catch bro whispering poison in his lord’s ear to turn him against his allies 🤣
August 24, 2025 at 11:05 AM
tfw you catch bro whispering poison in his lord’s ear to turn him against his allies 🤣
Guy who gets barbed wire forehead tattoo right before experiencing severe male pattern baldness
August 21, 2025 at 5:50 AM
Guy who gets barbed wire forehead tattoo right before experiencing severe male pattern baldness
Coroner speaking into a tape recorder: heart and lungs appear normal, moving on to the stomach. Ah, here we go, looking at the contents, I can see… yep, an entire thing of corn chips. Julian mark down cause of death please, the deceased ate a little bit too much and their tummy hurt.
August 16, 2025 at 5:17 AM
Coroner speaking into a tape recorder: heart and lungs appear normal, moving on to the stomach. Ah, here we go, looking at the contents, I can see… yep, an entire thing of corn chips. Julian mark down cause of death please, the deceased ate a little bit too much and their tummy hurt.
Commentator in the alternative universe where instead of professional wrestling there’s a global sports entertainment industry based around samurai: After fending off 100 of Randy Orton’s bandits, John Cena has earned the opportunity to be declared daimyō at Bushidōmania
August 10, 2025 at 8:49 AM
Commentator in the alternative universe where instead of professional wrestling there’s a global sports entertainment industry based around samurai: After fending off 100 of Randy Orton’s bandits, John Cena has earned the opportunity to be declared daimyō at Bushidōmania
When the tidings are glad, you know I’m on my merriment shit. But when the tidings are ill, that’s when woe betides me
August 4, 2025 at 3:03 AM
When the tidings are glad, you know I’m on my merriment shit. But when the tidings are ill, that’s when woe betides me
Reposted by The Posts Genius
GUY STARTING A FIGHT: I can't wait to sucker punch you.
ME: I hope you choose suck.
ME: I hope you choose suck.
July 30, 2025 at 8:43 PM
GUY STARTING A FIGHT: I can't wait to sucker punch you.
ME: I hope you choose suck.
ME: I hope you choose suck.
I regret to inform you.
July 25, 2025 at 1:30 PM
I regret to inform you.