people are like, “threads knows me better than bluesky” duh???? meta has been siphoning off information on you for years???? it knows you like ratatouille erotica in a way this new beast simply cannot comprehend??? don’t worry — it’ll catch on quickly.

if I only could
I’d make a deal with Gob
and I’d ask him for one ba-na-na

simply gonna have to bring some old tw**ts over here until I’m funny again

imagine spending years of your life studying a very specific career field, training in said field, gaining decades of experience, only to have that dude who lives in his mom’s basement but has said at one (1) dinner party he could do your job take your job

I just want to be dog and do dog things and get snow on my little snoot and sleep

“Jesus Take the Wheel” & GoT “I’m going to break the wheel” mashup coming in 5-4-3-2–

I just want to formally thank the developers of “Does The Dog Die?” for making my life 7% less traumatic

But then everything was fine. That’s why they called it “the war to end all wars”

Musk, eat your heart out