#SOCKO2028

WE’RE SWITCHING TO THE METRIC SYSTEM

#SOCKO2028

You know when you sit down to poop and a bit of hair is tangled on your hole so when you sit down it painfully rips to two hairs apart?

Mandatory for all criminals.

#SOCKO2028

DAY OF THE DEAD WILL BE A FEDERAL HOLIDAY

#SOCKO2028

Is crazy that one service going down blacksout multiple different websites and services

AS PRESIDENT SOCKO WILL MAKE IT TO WHERE WE’LL HAVE REDUNDANCIES UPON REDUNDANCIES TO MAKE SURE YOURE ABLE TO ACCESS YOUR STUFF AT ALL TIMES

ALSO BREAKING UP AMAZON

#SOCKO2028

AS PRESIDENT, SOCKO WILL MANDATE THAT ALL ELECTRONIC COMPANIES THAT OPERATE IN AMERICA *MUST* HAVE A QUICK, EASY, AND STRAIGHTFORWARD WAY FOR CONSUMERS TO SAFELY RECYCLE THEIR E-WASTE AND ALSO PASS RIGOROUS GOVERNMENTAL SAFETY CHECKS FOR THE DISPOSAL OF SAID E-WASTE

#SOCKO2028

#SOCKO2028

SOCKO KNOWS HE JOKES ABOUT THE FRENCH ALOT BUT SOCKO WANTS THE FRENCH TO KNOW THAT *YOU* ARE AMERICA’S FIRST AND BEST ALLY
AMERICA WAS ABLE TO REVOLT AGAINST THE REDCLOATS BECAUSE OF U WE THEN SHAFTED YOU HARD WHEN YOU HAD YOUR OWN REVOLUTION. SOCKO CALLS FOR A DECLARATION OF FRIENDSHIP

#SOCKO2028

SOCKO IS THE ONLY PRESIDENT WILLING TO INSTITUTE EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL INTELLIGENCE BY THIRD GRADE

BY THIRD GRADE, THIRD GRADERS SHOULD LEARN THE BASIC WHEEL OF EMOTIONS AND HOW THEIR BODIES WORK ON A BASIC LEVEL

BY SIXTH, THEY SHOULD KNOWLEDGABLE OF EMOTIONS AND HOW THEIR BODY WORKS

#SOCKO2028

FIRST ACT AS PRESIDENT

NATIONALIZE THE GUINNESS BOOK OF WORLD RECORDS AND MERGE IT WITH THE DEPARTMENT OF RECORDS

BEATING WORLD RECORDS WOULD BE THE NEW FOURTH OF JULY CELEBRATION NEXT TO KICKASS AIR SHOW AND CHILI COOK OFF

#SOCKO2028

Socko’s thought long and hard about it and has consulted many experts in the field and determined that not only is huffing paint a fun way to meet friends, but the god given right of every American.

Socko is now proudly the only pro-paint huffing politician

#SOCKO2028

Socko’s keeping it a buck he forgot what he was gonna do

That being said we’re still doing this

#ForTheBit

#SOCKO2028

Forgot what Socko was gonna say.

#SOCKO2028

Under Socko’s economic plans, those with the most points buy the door, however they should get first dibs on raygun

#SOCKO2028

We really need a new Bill of Rights

#SOCKO2028

1 HOTEL ROOM AND 1 HOOKER FOR EVERYONE

EVEN THE HOOKERS

#SOCKO2028

Too many coal miners are losing their jobs and the current and previous administration has done nothing to address the issues of the men and women who have given their health to keep the world powered. Under Socko’s administration, any and all coal miners will receive free improv classes. #SOCKO2028

PRO SMOKING
PRO GAMBLING
PRO COCAINE
PROSTATE

#SOCKO2028