"As the protest continued, the police were called and despite the use of their water cannon (acquired secondhand from the Met in London), the strikers just would not budge. My wife, Petula, in a gesture of peace, even passed amongst them with falafel and pesto wraps..."

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"I made the decision very early on in my tenure to assemble the very best and sent out my wife, Petula, to scout for singers and offer them incentives – the use of the motorboat at Largs and a half price main course at the local carvery, ‘Fill Yer Face’.

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Industrial relations of the spiritual kind...

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"Suffice to say the police turned up in their riot gear, and a member of the Rothesay militia and her attack Alsatian, Margo, had to try regaining control. Needless to say, folk were arrested, and I fled to the local church and pleaded sanctuary."

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"After a series of emails, both parties agreed to meet on neutral territory and caught the ferry to Rothesay."

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If you are in need of some spiritual sustenance...there's always Doddie D.

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