what is their deaaalllll omfg I need the 200 page comic about their deal right NYYOOWWWW

Even now as I let this out here, it hurts to know that this will not strike any chords. I post for no one, which is freeing until you want to be seen. No one will see this and say it’s okay. Will hug me. Will listen to me. Will validate me. Will help me. Will understand me. Melodrama for me later

I wish I had hate or anger in me so I felt more justified for why I am this way now. I feel pathetic instead. Pointing blame at other people/things doesn’t do anything but make me realize I have even less control. Everything that will happen happens bc I deserve it! Karmic punishment for idk why

This has been one of the loneliest years of my life (competing with 2019 and 2020). I feel like I’ve been stuck while everyone else just…moves on and be better. I just get worse and worse. And I don’t think anyone will really understand why I feel this way, why I’ve sunk so low. I feel so isolated

it makes my chest hurt man