Dark Allie
LightNews LightNews
banner
zoologicallie.bsky.social
Dark Allie
@zoologicallie.bsky.social
210 followers 150 following 2.1K posts
nature's greatest, goofiest, prettiest monster
Finding Monster Right: @monsterrightpod.bsky.social
She/she/they (I prefer the capitalization.)
Posts Replies Media Videos
zoologicallie.bsky.social
What's up I spent the week getting my whole ass handed to me in fanorona did I miss anything regular ?
A game of fanorona in progress. White and black pieces on a board made of intersecting squares.
September 14, 2025 at 6:36 AM
zoologicallie.bsky.social
happy pride month to these two and their bullshit
Natasha Negovanlis and Elise Bauman as Carmilla Karnstein and Laura Hollis in Carmilla (2014-2017). In an old-fashioned library, a vampire in a comfortable-looking long sleeve shirt and leather pants puts her boots on a table. Her girlfriend, wearing jeans and a flowy red top, ponders something while looking at her and smiling.
June 6, 2025 at 5:18 PM
zoologicallie.bsky.social
I'm gonna keep on dancin' at the
A tweet from a creep that says "WOKE MARXIST POPE"
May 10, 2025 at 4:44 AM
zoologicallie.bsky.social
My remaining future career plans:
Dr. Dealgood announcing the beginning of a match in the Thunderdome, from Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome.
April 3, 2025 at 6:10 PM
zoologicallie.bsky.social
Devastating news for those of us in the Sorcerer of the Cave of the Trois-Frères fandom.
Left: a section of cave wall containing an ancient painting Right: a reconstruction of the painting by Henri Breuil, interpreting it as a half-human, half-beast creature with antlers.
March 1, 2025 at 4:03 PM
zoologicallie.bsky.social
So, this movie was made for me and me specifically. No one else is allowed to watch it. Them's the brakes.
Lisa Frankenstein (2024)
February 21, 2025 at 1:15 AM
zoologicallie.bsky.social
[Judas Priest voice] MY DUNK! UNSHRUNK MY DUNK!
Various size estimates of the ~370 million-year-old fish Dunkleosteus. The more recent estimates are significantly smaller.
February 10, 2025 at 4:16 PM
zoologicallie.bsky.social
When you crunch the numbers on that, it really doesn't hold up past your teens. Like, I would NOT have dated a 17-year-old at age 20, and I wouldn't date a 22-year-old now.
A table, where the first column is ages from 15 to 20 in increments of 1, and thereafter to age 100 in increments of 5. Each value in the second column is half the corresponding value in the first column, plus 7.
February 8, 2025 at 5:18 PM
zoologicallie.bsky.social
As someone who has never owned a cat, how concerned should I be that my roommate's cat is addicted to monching on tape?
Harley, a mackerel tabby cat, monches on a box flap covered in tape. She has a truly maniacal look in her eye.
January 27, 2025 at 8:45 PM
zoologicallie.bsky.social
help i'm crying about the caption of a photo from the wikipedia article on cow tipping
A photo from a Wikipedia article, depicting a cow lying on her side. The caption reads "A healthy cow lying on her side is not immobilized; she can rise whenever she chooses."
January 24, 2025 at 9:44 PM
zoologicallie.bsky.social
Still crazy to me how this meme was so good that I ended up dating the one who made it after we met in the replies of a @uberwensch.bsky.social post about giant sloths.
Normal people with a time machine: PERSON 1: "Hello. I'm your granddaughter." PERSON 2: "Really? Incredible!" Me with a time machine: PERSON 3: "More apes like me will try to migrate north via the Isthmus of Suez. You cannot defend against their spears in the daylight, but they are vulnerable while they sleep. Come night, follow the glow of fire and smell of smoke." GROUP OF MAMMOTHS: [grateful proboscidean noises].
January 15, 2025 at 6:37 PM
zoologicallie.bsky.social
The climax of Pacific Rim takes place on January 12, 2025. Happy Apocalypse-Cancelling Day to all who celebrate!
#filmsky
A scene from Pacific Rim (2013) in which a mecha drags an oil tanker through the streets of Hong Kong towards a menacing kaiju, in anticipation of using the boat like a baseball bat. If that doesn't make you want to watch the movie, I don't know what will.
January 12, 2025 at 3:58 PM
zoologicallie.bsky.social
I understand that this is not a horror film, but the reveal that the 30-something woman living with Werner Herzog is his WIFE is the most I've been scared by a movie in a while. #filmsky
Incident at Loch Ness (2004)
January 11, 2025 at 10:56 PM
zoologicallie.bsky.social
Is it post-apocalyptic flash fiction? Is it a poem? Is it preachy? Is it cringe? Is it Good, Actually? Is it Bad, Actually? Is it Top Ten Reasons Why It's Bad And Cringe And Pretentious And Edgy?

Probably. I don't fucking care.
We have two guns. Promise Me, when the End comes for One of Us, that We’ll both use them. We have looked for seven years and found no One else. We are, as We have long suspected, the Last Two. The Earth is different than it was before. The part where We live is hotter in the summer and colder in the winter. Storms are worse. There are fewer animals and plants, both in kind and in number. We have seen these changes in Our lifetimes, but they’ve been happening slowly ever since Humanity decided to start killing the Earth. But in the past seven years I’ve spent with You, I’ve been able to breathe again. The air is cleaner, and the water purer. There are more plants and animals than I’ve ever seen. Maybe they’ll all evolve into many kinds once again. It will take thousands of years before the climate stabilizes and Life recovers, but the wounds Humanity inflicted will heal. Punishment is a concept Humanity invented, and punishment is what It received. An unwittingly self-inflicted punishment. Already come, and, I have decided, already gone. It is a kindness that I seek to perform. We are Humanity. We are the Last Two. I am asking You to kill Me, and for Me to kill You. Not yet. Not while I still have time with You, and You with Me. We’ll wander until One of Us can’t anymore. And then, We’ll keep this promise I’m proposing We make to each Other. If We both kill each Other at the same time, One of Us will die a fraction of a second earlier. For that fraction of a second, You or I will be the Last One. But the Last One won’t have time to be aware of that fact. Humanity deserves an ignoble End, but You don’t. Humanity’s evil has been punished with Death. Now let Its good be rewarded with a final act of Mercy. Of Love. I will not let Death find You alone. I Love You.
January 11, 2025 at 6:49 PM
zoologicallie.bsky.social
Y'all, I'm not the type to complain about special effects, but what is this? What is this movie?
The triumphant final shot of Jaws 3-D, where a single shot of a dolphin is poorly composited into a shot with completely different lighting, and then mirrored because it's meant to look like there are two dolphins in the scene. Jaws is badly composited in front of an underwater background. She is breaking through a pane of glass that has just suddenly appeared in frame at 50% transparency.
January 6, 2025 at 6:03 PM
zoologicallie.bsky.social
NW: Jaws 3-D (1983)
Lea Thompson's performance in this is amazing, because she actually manages to sell lines from a script that's about as well put together as this effects shot:
A submersible poorly greenscreened into an underwater background. The lighting doesn't even remotely match, and there's a bit near the nose where it looks like the sub is dissolving away.
January 6, 2025 at 4:03 PM
zoologicallie.bsky.social
Whenever Harley jumps up somewhere high I say something like "Wœw, the incredible hops of der bæbus!" instead of something normal.
Harley, my roommate's mackerel tabby, rubbing her face on some unplugged cables on a shelf next to a shoe rack. She is being pet by my left hand while she does this.
January 5, 2025 at 3:35 PM
zoologicallie.bsky.social
Stabbing myself twice in the face with this mug and blaming Batman for it and becoming the Batman villain Stabbed-Herself-Twice-In-The-Face-Bitch.
A mug on a shelf. The mug is shaped liked Batman's head, but the cowl is blue. The handle is at the back of the head. Two large triangular ears stick out of the rim in such a way where it's impossible to use the mug without jabbing two big ceramic spikes in your dang face. (This image is from r/crappydesign user ajsonicman, but I was gifted one of these mugs as a child and fortunately immediately saw the problem).
January 3, 2025 at 3:14 PM
zoologicallie.bsky.social
I found a mysterious artifact on a walk yesterday, and I'm a bit baffled by the symbolism. Does anyone know what this is supposed to mean?
My hand holding a figurine of a green dragon with 6-8 asymmetric horns, surrounded by three cobras and a human skull at its feet. The dragon and the cobras are menacingly writhing in such a way where I can't tell if they're all working together or not. One of the cobras is coiled around the dragon's neck. The reverse of the same figurine, revealing that the cobras and dragon are coiling around a partially broken cross.
January 2, 2025 at 3:41 PM
zoologicallie.bsky.social
Combo emojis are a double-edged sword. There's all those weird ones, but then there are also delightful ones like these:
An emoji of a dog playing on the back of a turtle. An emoji of a scorpion wearing a mushroom hat and also eating a mushroom. An emoji of a narwhal, the result of combining 🐋 with 🦄. An emoji of a saxophone-themed birthday cake.
December 31, 2024 at 12:01 AM
zoologicallie.bsky.social
NW: The Mummy (1932)
"No, the sign is just fine! We didn't 'plunder' anything! We simply opened a locked door and took a bunch of the stuff we found inside for our financial gain, then— Oh my God, we totally plundered it. Shit. Fuck!"
—the first British Museum curator to achieve self-awareness
A frame from The Mummy (1932) showing a museum placard that reads: "This gallery contains the mummy and funerary equipment of the Princess Anck-es-en-Amon. 18th Dynasty, Circa 1730 B.C. All objects in this room are from her unplundered tomb, discovered by the BRITISH MUSEUM FIELD FORCE 1932".
December 29, 2024 at 4:24 AM
zoologicallie.bsky.social
xkcd 2071: [A single social media post is shown. On the top left is a portrait of a spiky-haired face, the text right aside is not readable. The post is:] Everyone on here needs to stop laughing about how "adopting pets from a shelter is for losers" and "those animals should all be hunted for sport instead." It's reprehensible on so many levels! First of all... [Caption below the frame:] Sometimes, one of my friends posts an angry response to some terrible opinion I've never heard before, and it's a weird indirect way to learn how awful their other friends must be.
December 26, 2024 at 3:38 PM
zoologicallie.bsky.social
i have never more strongly identified with a fictional hypothetical prehistoric whale.
emoji of a whale shedding a single tear and smiling.
December 25, 2024 at 1:37 AM
zoologicallie.bsky.social
Me when I say I'm going to rank the episodes but really I'm just listing them in chronological order:
A screen from Pokemon Mystery Dungeon of Drowzee telling Azurill "I'll let you in on a little secret. This was all a trick. I deceived you."
December 24, 2024 at 6:16 PM
zoologicallie.bsky.social
"I don't know, either."
Two astronauts and a rocketship on Mars. The caption reads "The year is 2035. The first astronauts have landed on Mars. They find a cave with a human skeleton and 4 words written on the wall. What are the words?"
December 13, 2024 at 1:14 PM