ZoeyKL
@zoeykl.bsky.social
Legal disclaimer: Everything and anything posted by this account is satire/parody, including personal posts and political posts, which may include calls for violence against Nazis.
Special note for the FBI: I'm allied with the CIA ;)
Special note for the FBI: I'm allied with the CIA ;)
kash patel is a fucking pussy
February 13, 2026 at 4:35 AM
kash patel is a fucking pussy
they won't go without violence, and that's just a fact. Either Trump will incite another Jan6, or his crazy bootlickers will do it themselves. It's funny that they staged two assassinations to prop the Secret Service up as "protecting" him when in fact none of the MIB around him care, at all.
February 2, 2026 at 10:46 AM
they won't go without violence, and that's just a fact. Either Trump will incite another Jan6, or his crazy bootlickers will do it themselves. It's funny that they staged two assassinations to prop the Secret Service up as "protecting" him when in fact none of the MIB around him care, at all.
What the fuck is Russia gonna do, send a 3-day military operation to Japan? Hahahahaha they haven't even finished their 3-day military operation in Ukraine yet
February 2, 2026 at 7:47 AM
What the fuck is Russia gonna do, send a 3-day military operation to Japan? Hahahahaha they haven't even finished their 3-day military operation in Ukraine yet
Everyone in the current administration responsible for covering everything up and allowing this to happen should be charged under the fullest extent of the law, which I'm pretty sure includes the death penalty for some of them.
February 2, 2026 at 7:46 AM
Everyone in the current administration responsible for covering everything up and allowing this to happen should be charged under the fullest extent of the law, which I'm pretty sure includes the death penalty for some of them.
We all knew this but had no confirmation. Now we do. Time to remove Trump from office and prosecute him to the fullest extent of the law.
Personally, I'd prefer mob justice, but the FBI tried to arrest me for suggesting something similar.
Personally, I'd prefer mob justice, but the FBI tried to arrest me for suggesting something similar.
February 2, 2026 at 5:38 AM
We all knew this but had no confirmation. Now we do. Time to remove Trump from office and prosecute him to the fullest extent of the law.
Personally, I'd prefer mob justice, but the FBI tried to arrest me for suggesting something similar.
Personally, I'd prefer mob justice, but the FBI tried to arrest me for suggesting something similar.
What's less patriotic is allowing it to happen. Get off your ass.
January 31, 2026 at 12:11 PM
What's less patriotic is allowing it to happen. Get off your ass.
jared golden sucks and i dont know why anyone voted for him
sincerely, a Mainer
sincerely, a Mainer
January 26, 2026 at 11:15 AM
jared golden sucks and i dont know why anyone voted for him
sincerely, a Mainer
sincerely, a Mainer
By the way, if anyone wants a good defensive unarmed EDC, here's mine. Cigars not required, but helps the badass factor.
bsky.app/profile/zoey...
bsky.app/profile/zoey...
Here's my EDC. Equipment from left to right, top to bottom:
Plate carrier, Baofeng AR-5RM, black nitrile gloves, black N95 masks, black hard knuckle tactical fingerless gloves, cigars, emergency pen, lighter, EDC knife, battery bank, USGI IFAK, and IFAK pouch. 1/2
Plate carrier, Baofeng AR-5RM, black nitrile gloves, black N95 masks, black hard knuckle tactical fingerless gloves, cigars, emergency pen, lighter, EDC knife, battery bank, USGI IFAK, and IFAK pouch. 1/2
January 25, 2026 at 2:18 AM
By the way, if anyone wants a good defensive unarmed EDC, here's mine. Cigars not required, but helps the badass factor.
bsky.app/profile/zoey...
bsky.app/profile/zoey...
Here's the vest contents. Shield Defense 5x8 Dyneema cumberbund plates, Downrange Industries 11x14 AR500 steel plate (front), two stacked VISM 10x12 UHMWPE 3A plates (rear).
"Kriegsherrin" means 'warlord' or 'warrior queen' in German. It's my middle name. I am not German. 2/2
"Kriegsherrin" means 'warlord' or 'warrior queen' in German. It's my middle name. I am not German. 2/2
January 25, 2026 at 2:00 AM
Here's the vest contents. Shield Defense 5x8 Dyneema cumberbund plates, Downrange Industries 11x14 AR500 steel plate (front), two stacked VISM 10x12 UHMWPE 3A plates (rear).
"Kriegsherrin" means 'warlord' or 'warrior queen' in German. It's my middle name. I am not German. 2/2
"Kriegsherrin" means 'warlord' or 'warrior queen' in German. It's my middle name. I am not German. 2/2
The vest I normally wear has a L3 front steel plate with the cumberbund and rear covered by UHMWPE L3A soft armor.
Now my heavy vest...weighs 45lb before adding anything other than my IFAK and AFAK to it.
Also, hello fedbois. Please slit your wrists. Thank you in advance.
Now my heavy vest...weighs 45lb before adding anything other than my IFAK and AFAK to it.
Also, hello fedbois. Please slit your wrists. Thank you in advance.
January 25, 2026 at 1:12 AM
The vest I normally wear has a L3 front steel plate with the cumberbund and rear covered by UHMWPE L3A soft armor.
Now my heavy vest...weighs 45lb before adding anything other than my IFAK and AFAK to it.
Also, hello fedbois. Please slit your wrists. Thank you in advance.
Now my heavy vest...weighs 45lb before adding anything other than my IFAK and AFAK to it.
Also, hello fedbois. Please slit your wrists. Thank you in advance.
I carry an N95 in my jacket and other emergency supplies in my pants pockets. Those are NWU Type 1 US Navy pants.
I have a Czech M10M and a Polish MP-4. Both haven't seen action yet despite being from the cold war. I have modern reproduction filters for both...
I have a Czech M10M and a Polish MP-4. Both haven't seen action yet despite being from the cold war. I have modern reproduction filters for both...
January 25, 2026 at 1:02 AM
I carry an N95 in my jacket and other emergency supplies in my pants pockets. Those are NWU Type 1 US Navy pants.
I have a Czech M10M and a Polish MP-4. Both haven't seen action yet despite being from the cold war. I have modern reproduction filters for both...
I have a Czech M10M and a Polish MP-4. Both haven't seen action yet despite being from the cold war. I have modern reproduction filters for both...
ICE is the reason that I wear body armor in public. I'm a Russian immigrant and have been a US citizen since 2019. If ICE is going to start shooting people, more people should start wearing vests. Normalize it. I have.
January 25, 2026 at 12:00 AM
ICE is the reason that I wear body armor in public. I'm a Russian immigrant and have been a US citizen since 2019. If ICE is going to start shooting people, more people should start wearing vests. Normalize it. I have.