John Flatness
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zerocrates.org
John Flatness
@zerocrates.org
230 followers 84 following 200 posts
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Nagito Komaeda from Danganronpa with text from Jeffrey Epstein's emails saying "hope opposite of despair"
November 13, 2025 at 4:12 PM
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the forbidden knowledge
A copy of Roget's Thesaurus
November 13, 2025 at 3:35 PM
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The University of Austin faculty pose for a photo with Texas governor Greg Abbott, with the sign "We Demand To Be Taken Seriously" from Arrested Development photoshopped on
May 18, 2025 at 4:27 AM
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A text box in the style of Final Fantasy 7, showing Hojo saying "...Do you guys not have phones?"
May 15, 2025 at 7:39 AM
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A frame from the movie "Mission: Impossible" showing Tom Cruise hanging from the ceiling while using a computer
April 19, 2025 at 6:19 PM
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so-called "friends" when they see how many tabs i have open
April 10, 2025 at 1:56 AM
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Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge (1991)
The Largo Embargo! It's a tax on ships coming or going... But it's a HUGE tax that no captain on this island can afford. That fool Largo doesn't know when to stop.
April 8, 2025 at 11:52 PM
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erasure in progress at the dentist office
Large pink letters saying "GBT" sitting on a counter
March 29, 2025 at 4:35 PM
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A frame from the movie "Love, Actually," with a man holding up a card saying "to me, you are perfect"
March 5, 2025 at 3:58 AM
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the January change leading to everyone's confusion, making a slight downward revision of the reported amount by 7.992 billion dollars
February 19, 2025 at 6:18 AM
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Star Trek: The Next Generation, "Unification II," 1991.
Screenshot of a Romulan from Star Trek: The Next Generation, with a subtitle that reads "Things are not as they were in the Senate. The old leaders have lost the respect of the people."
February 19, 2025 at 5:55 AM
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Sickening portrait of our greatest enemies
Photo of a book titled "A Day in the Life of Canada." Two children are pictured on the cover: a girl in a white dress holding a baseball bat, and a boy holding a cat. They are among history's greatest monsters.
February 2, 2025 at 4:20 AM
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January 30, 2025 at 6:02 AM
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I Read These Ikea Instructions, Then Immediately Built This Dresser
A preview of a New York Times article with the headline "I Read This Recipe, Then Immediately Made This Soup"
January 18, 2025 at 6:43 PM
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Looks like Santa came early this year
A pile of toilet paper rolls, next to a piece of paper that reads "I bought the wrong brand. Take some or all. Happy Holidays!"
December 7, 2024 at 9:24 PM
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Comic panel of Batman from "The Dark Knight Returns." Batman is snapping a gun in half, but the gun has been replaced with the text "the Referer header." Batman is saying "This is the weapon of the enemy. We do not need it. We will not use it."
November 29, 2024 at 11:58 PM
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I went out of my way a while ago to reconstitute the old Flash map that used to go with this article when it was first posted, so all can see the epic journey as it was meant to be seen
A map showing Grimes and William Gratz's attempted houseboat journey down the Mississippi River, showing that over the course of three weeks they traveled all the way from northern Minneapolis to central Minneapolis
November 13, 2024 at 5:48 AM
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thanks, "Pamela," for giving my phone number to some political operation years ago so I can enjoy this forever
A list of blocked spam political text messages addressed to "Pamela," which is not my name
November 2, 2024 at 8:06 PM
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the paper of record
An issue of the Falls Church News-Press, with a large headline in all capital letters reading "Washington Post Won't Endorse, But We Do: Harris For President"
November 2, 2024 at 6:26 PM
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Former FCC chairman Ajit Pai drinking from a comically large Reese's mug, his most relatable act while in office
October 19, 2024 at 4:41 PM
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Joe Manchin, seconds after identifying the filibuster as the Holy Grail of democracy
September 25, 2024 at 3:11 PM
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the editor reading this post, sadly:
Screenshot of The Simpsons showing Homer, with a caption reading "But I'm using my whole ass!"
September 11, 2024 at 3:11 AM
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A Simpsons character on the phone, fanning himself on a tropical island, with a caption reading "I can't divulge information about that customer's secret illegal account."
September 5, 2024 at 3:39 PM
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Normally I'm all for Simpsons-based news coverage but I dunno about this one
July 22, 2024 at 1:28 AM
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A couple decades of this, applied to every possible topic, should be fun
July 20, 2024 at 6:00 PM