Zia Einhorn
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zeinhorn.bsky.social
Zia Einhorn
@zeinhorn.bsky.social
820 followers 870 following 560 posts
she/her | queer | ND | leftist

author | #amwriting | #amquerying
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zeinhorn.bsky.social
THE LOVE HYPOTHESIS X10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU

Zelda doesn't believe in ❤️- she just pretends for TV.
A viral interview-> #fakedating hopeless romantic actor Henry. Chemistry & #forcedproximity-> 🎆🌶️
What's real? What's fake? Can Zelda overcome her fears & open her ❤️?
#DVPit #A #R #RomCom #LGBT #ND
Image of a couple sitting at a table in a fast food restaurant, text above them reads Dollar Slice Date The inevitable text from Lucia arrived around two hours later. L: excuse me??? did we forget to share something??? Z: hey lulu L: omg DO NOT L: do NOT hey lulu me rn, I will call a car right now and come over and kick your ass Z: jesus ok sorry for saying hi 😇 L: i’ll be there in 10. istg you had better have AT LEAST ONE bottle of wine ready when I get there When Lucia arrived, roughly 25 minutes later, it was without knocking, using her key and then sweeping into the studio holding her phone in the air ahead of her, screen facing out like a talisman. “What the actual fuck am I looking at here?” Zelda barely glanced up from the book she was not actually reading. Lucia was more fun when you played with her a little. “Hey babe—dunno, what are you looking at?” Lucia tossed her hair over her shoulder in a huff, flinging her purse down and then dropping onto the couch between it and Zelda, landing practically in her lap. She pushed the phone between Zelda and the book. “This, you horrible creature, this! Were you ever planning on telling me that you chatted up Henry Alden last night?!” Okay, any more teasing and Lucia was going to hit the part of her vocal register where she sounded like a hysterical tea kettle. Zelda closed the book and glanced at the phone. It was open to YouTube, with the clip of her conversation with Henry paused at the halfway mark. It was frozen right around the part of the interview where Henry had started to get the upper hand, with the tiny video version of Zelda pink-cheeked and open-mouthed as the tiny video version of Henry beamed at her, almost adoringly. Regular sized Zelda felt her cheeks begin to flush in sympathy with her miniature double. “Ohhhhhh okay, okay, I can literally see you blushing, what the fuck, Zelle?” Zelda shook her head. “No, it’s just—he’s—it’s just an interview, he’s good at interviews, he’s been doing these asinine step and repeat Q&As since he was what, like 10? When did the first Wyldmere movie come out, like late ‘90s? He’s a professional at this, and he’s an actor—it was just part of the bit.” “Urrrrrgh,” Lucia grabbed a throw pillow and buried her face in it, groaning dramatically. Zelda patted her sarcastically on the back until she resurfaced, tousled and maybe sincerely furious this time? “Don’t change the topic, you always do this, you’re very clever, we’re all aware, but please, just this once, humor me and tell me what happened!” So Zelda did. Not that there was really anything to talk about that wasn’t recorded in full stereo and color in the video itself. Lucia, to no one’s surprise, was left absolutely unappeased by this. “Wait—so that was it? You didn’t meet him before? You didn’t find him after? That was it?” Zelda shrugged. “Dunno what you want me to tell you, hon—it was just an interview. He’s seen the web series, he probably just figured I’d be up for a little fake flirting because of that?” Lucia goggled at her. Zelda raised her eyebrows defiantly back at her in response. Lucia groaned again. “See, this is why I keep trying to get you to go on actual dates, it’s like your women’s intuition for attraction or chemistry or something is broken or I don’t know, fucking rusted over from lack of use? That? That is not fake. Absolutely not.” God, those fucking murderous butterflies were back again, wings flapping relentlessly and making her stomach churn. Zelda stood up and headed over to the fridge. “Sauv Blanc okay with you?” “Obviously!”
October 8, 2025 at 6:13 PM
zeinhorn.bsky.social
#FakeDating #MutualPining

#DVPit #A #R #RomCom #LGBT #ND
Picture of main street in small upstate NY town during Christmas, snow covering the road and trees. Text reads "The Christmas Boyfriend" Eli Reed is in his hometown of Cooper's Hollow, New York, visiting his mom over the Christmas holiday. This Christmas was supposed to be different — he’d finally gotten a boyfriend and could stop his mom’s worrying about how alone he was. Then Eli had walked in on Joe, balls deep inside of someone else in Eli’s bed, when he came home early the night before their train home. Merry Fucking Christmas. While Eli is trying to figure out how to walk back an out-and-out lie about having a boyfriend, he runs into former classmate Stephen Howard — a certified snack who Eli had his eye on back in the day, but the rules of high school were very clear: goths and jocks don’t mix. Not even dorky, sexy jocks. When Stephen hears about Eli's dilemma, he offers a solution to both their problems: Pretend to date and get their families off of their backs. Fluffy and funny and chock full of fake dating, mutual pining, and meddlesome friends and family — Merry Christmas, if only they can survive it.
October 8, 2025 at 5:58 PM
zeinhorn.bsky.social
THE LOVE HYPOTHESIS X10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU

Zelda doesn't believe in ❤️- she just pretends for TV. A viral interview-> #fakedating hopeless romantic actor Henry. Chemistry & #forcedproximity-> 🎆🌶️

What's real? What's fake? Can Zelda overcome her fears & open her ❤️?

#WIPPIT #A #R #RC #FBW
The image features a man and a woman seated at a small square table in a dollar slice joint in NYC. The man on the left has neatly styled dark hair and a short beard. He leans back casually in his chair with one arm resting on the chair's back. He wears a tan cardigan with a geometric pattern over a cream-colored shirt, paired with dark green trousers. On the right, the woman sits upright, with her legs crossed. She has long, straight blonde hair, styled neatly. She is dressed in a pale pink button-up blouse that is slightly loose and tucked into a lime-green skirt. Her expression is playful, as she holds a slice of pizza near her mouth as if about to take a bite. The table between them holds two small, branded pizza boxes, a red condiment bottle, and a drink cup with a straw. The backdrop consists of a dark wood-paneled wall. The title text above them reads “Dollar Slice Date” in large, bold, and colorful lettering. The word "Date" is particularly prominent, written in red with a heart integrated into the "D." Sample from Dollar Slice Date pt 1: The inevitable text from Lucia arrived around two hours later. L: excuse me??? did we forget to share something??? Z: hey lulu L: omg DO NOT L: do NOT hey lulu me rn, I will call a car right now and come over and kick your ass Z: jesus ok sorry for saying hi o L: i'll be there in 10. istg you had better have AT LEAST ONE bottle of wine ready when I get there When Lucia arrived, roughly 25 minutes later, it was without knocking, using her key and then sweeping into the studio holding her phone in the air ahead of her, screen facing out like a talisman. "What the actual fuck am I looking at here?" Zelda barely glanced up from the book she was not actually reading. Lucia was more fun when you played with her a little. "Hey babe-dunno, what are you looking at?" Lucia tossed her hair over her shoulder in a huff, pushing the phone between Zelda and the book. "This, you horrible creature, this! Were you ever planning on telling me that you interviewed Henry Alden last night?!" Sample from Dollar Slice Date pt 2: Okay, any more teasing and Lucia was going to hit the part of her vocal register where she sounded like a hysterical tea kettle. Zelda closed the book and glanced at the phone. It was open to the clip of her conversation with Henry paused at the halfway mark, was frozen right around the part of the interview where Henry had started to get the upper hand, the tiny video version of Zelda pink-cheeked and open-mouthed as the tiny video version of Henry beamed at her, almost adoringly. Regular sized Zelda felt her cheeks begin to flush in sympathy with her miniature double. "Ohhhhhh okay, okay, I can literally see you blushing, what the fuck, Zelle?" Zelda shook her head. "No, it's just -he's-it's just an interview, he's good at interviews, he's been doing these asinine step and repeat Q&As since he was what, like 10? When did the first Wyldmere movie come out, like late '90s? He's a professional at this, and he's an actor--it was just part of the bit." "Urrrrrgh," Lucia grabbed a throw pillow and buried her face in it, groaning dramatically. Zelda patted her sarcastically on the back until she resurfaced, tousled and maybe sincerely furious this time? Sample from Dollar Slice Date pt 3: "Don't change the topic, you always do this, you're very clever, we're all aware, but please, just this once, humor me and tell me what happened!" So Zelda did. Not that there was really anything to talk about that wasn't recorded in full stereo and color in the video itself. Lucia, to no one's surprise, was left absolutely unappeased by this. "Wait-so that was it? You didn't meet him before? You didn't find him after? That was it?" Zelda shrugged. "Dunno what you want me to tell you, hon-it was just an interview. He's seen the show, he probably just figured I'd be up for a little fake flirting because of that?" Lucia goggled at her. Zelda raised her eyebrows defiantly back at her in response. Lucia groaned again. "See, this is why I keep trying to get you to go on actual dates, it's like your women's intuition for attraction or chemistry or something is broken or I don't know, fucking rusted over from lack of use? That? That is not fake. Absolutely not." God, those fucking murderous butterflies were back again, wings flapping relentlessly and making her stomach churn.
May 23, 2025 at 7:54 AM
zeinhorn.bsky.social
THE LOVE HYPOTHESIS X10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU

Zelda doesn't believe in ❤️- she just pretends for TV. A viral interview-> #fakedating hopeless romantic actor Henry. Chemistry & #forcedproximity-> 🎆🌶️

What's real? What's fake? Can Zelda overcome her fears & open her ❤️?

#QuestPit #W #A #R #RC
The image features a man and a woman seated at a small square table in a dollar slice joint in NYC. The man on the left has neatly styled dark hair and a short beard. He leans back casually in his chair with one arm resting on the chair's back. He wears a tan cardigan with a geometric pattern over a cream-colored shirt, paired with dark green trousers. On the right, the woman sits upright, with her legs crossed. She has long, straight blonde hair, styled neatly. She is dressed in a pale pink button-up blouse that is slightly loose and tucked into a lime-green skirt. Her expression is playful, as she holds a slice of pizza near her mouth as if about to take a bite. The table between them holds two small, branded pizza boxes, a red condiment bottle, and a drink cup with a straw. The backdrop consists of a dark wood-paneled wall. The title text above them reads “Dollar Slice Date” in large, bold, and colorful lettering. The word "Date" is particularly prominent, written in red with a heart integrated into the "D." Sample from Dollar Slice Date pt 1: The inevitable text from Lucia arrived around two hours later. L: excuse me??? did we forget to share something??? Z: hey lulu L: omg DO NOT L: do NOT hey lulu me rn, I will call a car right now and come over and kick your ass Z: jesus ok sorry for saying hi o L: i'll be there in 10. istg you had better have AT LEAST ONE bottle of wine ready when I get there When Lucia arrived, roughly 25 minutes later, it was without knocking, using her key and then sweeping into the studio holding her phone in the air ahead of her, screen facing out like a talisman. "What the actual fuck am I looking at here?" Zelda barely glanced up from the book she was not actually reading. Lucia was more fun when you played with her a little. "Hey babe-dunno, what are you looking at?" Lucia tossed her hair over her shoulder in a huff, pushing the phone between Zelda and the book. "This, you horrible creature, this! Were you ever planning on telling me that you interviewed Henry Alden last night?!" Sample from Dollar Slice Date pt 2: Okay, any more teasing and Lucia was going to hit the part of her vocal register where she sounded like a hysterical tea kettle. Zelda closed the book and glanced at the phone. It was open to the clip of her conversation with Henry paused at the halfway mark, was frozen right around the part of the interview where Henry had started to get the upper hand, the tiny video version of Zelda pink-cheeked and open-mouthed as the tiny video version of Henry beamed at her, almost adoringly. Regular sized Zelda felt her cheeks begin to flush in sympathy with her miniature double. "Ohhhhhh okay, okay, I can literally see you blushing, what the fuck, Zelle?" Zelda shook her head. "No, it's just -he's-it's just an interview, he's good at interviews, he's been doing these asinine step and repeat Q&As since he was what, like 10? When did the first Wyldmere movie come out, like late '90s? He's a professional at this, and he's an actor--it was just part of the bit." "Urrrrrgh," Lucia grabbed a throw pillow and buried her face in it, groaning dramatically. Zelda patted her sarcastically on the back until she resurfaced, tousled and maybe sincerely furious this time? Sample from Dollar Slice Date pt 3: "Don't change the topic, you always do this, you're very clever, we're all aware, but please, just this once, humor me and tell me what happened!" So Zelda did. Not that there was really anything to talk about that wasn't recorded in full stereo and color in the video itself. Lucia, to no one's surprise, was left absolutely unappeased by this. "Wait-so that was it? You didn't meet him before? You didn't find him after? That was it?" Zelda shrugged. "Dunno what you want me to tell you, hon-it was just an interview. He's seen the show, he probably just figured I'd be up for a little fake flirting because of that?" Lucia goggled at her. Zelda raised her eyebrows defiantly back at her in response. Lucia groaned again. "See, this is why I keep trying to get you to go on actual dates, it's like your women's intuition for attraction or chemistry or something is broken or I don't know, fucking rusted over from lack of use? That? That is not fake. Absolutely not." God, those fucking murderous butterflies were back again, wings flapping relentlessly and making her stomach churn.
May 7, 2025 at 9:18 PM
zeinhorn.bsky.social
Pete Hegseth’s attorneys right now, probably
Michael Bluth breaking the news to George Senior that he does in fact have the worst f*cking attorneys. caption of Michael’s response reads: Yeah, I don't think that that's true, Dad.
April 21, 2025 at 1:55 AM
zeinhorn.bsky.social
George Bluth Senior winking in prison as he tells Michael that a husband and wife can’t be charged with the same crime (they can, he has the worst f*cking attorneys)
April 21, 2025 at 1:53 AM
zeinhorn.bsky.social
THE LOVE HYPOTHESIS X10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU

Cynical NYer Zelda doesn't believe in love- she just pretends to on TV. When a viral interview leads to a showmance w/ A-lister Henry, sparks fly & the line between real & fake blur w/ hilarious & heart wrenching results.

#PosterPit #PosterPitW #R #A
The image features a man and a woman seated at a small square table in a dollar slice joint in NYC. The man on the left has neatly styled dark hair and a short beard. He leans back casually in his chair with one arm resting on the chair's back. He wears a tan cardigan with a geometric pattern over a cream-colored shirt, paired with dark green trousers. On the right, the woman sits upright, with her legs crossed. She has long, straight blonde hair, styled neatly. She is dressed in a pale pink button-up blouse that is slightly loose and tucked into a lime-green skirt. Her expression is playful, as she holds a slice of pizza near her mouth as if about to take a bite. The table between them holds two small, branded pizza boxes, a red condiment bottle, and a drink cup with a straw. The backdrop consists of a dark wood-paneled wall. The title text above them reads “Dollar Slice Date” in large, bold, and colorful lettering. The word "Date" is particularly prominent, written in red with a heart integrated into the "D." At the top of the poster are award laurels for tropes: Fake Dating, Tension & Banter, Mutual Pining, Forced Proximity Interspersed on the poster are comments from beta readers: "Oh. My. God.", "GORGEOUS", "SHIVERS", "Their chemistry is insane!" At the bottom, the text reads: An Adult Romantic Comedy by Zia Einhorn. Coming to query inboxes near you, Summer 2025
April 20, 2025 at 1:18 AM
zeinhorn.bsky.social
Ma’am this is Blue Sky, and that’s a squid
Picture of OP
April 19, 2025 at 12:27 PM
zeinhorn.bsky.social
Jesus is trying not to show how horrified he is at the stupidity
April 19, 2025 at 11:53 AM
zeinhorn.bsky.social
Sticker of the trans pride flag on a metal pole, with overlaid text that reads: “only losers hate trans people”.
April 16, 2025 at 8:00 PM
zeinhorn.bsky.social
Yeah, this is fucking incel-level disgusting

“Representing America in the fullest” is sadly accurate, what a cretin
Timberlake himself admitted to groping Kylie just minutes after leaving the stage, telling media: "I was representing America in the fullest." "I didn't just touch it -I copped a feel. On a scale of one to 10, it was like a 58," he said at the time.
April 16, 2025 at 4:58 PM
zeinhorn.bsky.social
David Lynch on the set of Twin Peaks (which featured David Duchovny as a trans woman in a respectful matter of fact way because TRANS WOMEN ARE WOMEN AND ALL GENDERS ARE VALID) The subtitles say “Fix your hearts or die!”
April 16, 2025 at 1:38 PM
zeinhorn.bsky.social
Everyone who chooses to engage with the HP franchise - actors, producers, viewers, readers - is complicit and guilty. There is no excuse. We’ve known who she is for YEARS

Boycott HP, boycott John Lithgow, Janet McTeer, Paapa Essiedu, Nick Frost. May they be shunned from every corner of the earth
Headshots of confirmed actors for the moldy TERF’s new series on HBO
April 16, 2025 at 1:25 PM
zeinhorn.bsky.social
This is Nazi behavior, this is TERF logic, and no amount of patting yourself on the back and saying you’re actually a good person will change that
Chronic Uniconic € * @chroni... • 37 m This is not because anvone denies the rights of trans people, but because women's rights, privacy, and protections rel on clear definitions A GRC may change legal status, but it doesn't change someone's biological sEx This is a necessarv & respectful recognition of biological & legal realities 4 Jess O'Thomson @jessoth... • 2h The UK Supreme Court has unanimously decided that the definition of sex under the Equality Act 2010 refers solely to biological sex, and does not include people with a Gender Recognition Certificate.
April 16, 2025 at 11:12 AM
zeinhorn.bsky.social
bsky.app/profile/jcsa...
Lucille Bluth speech bubble
April 14, 2025 at 3:31 AM
zeinhorn.bsky.social
The deadline just ended for the new law - only way you can do this now is if you already filed or are claiming based on grandparent or parent
The new Italian law limiting citizenship by descent (jure sanguinis) to those with an Italian parent or grandparent took effect on April 1, 2025. This means that if your most recent Italian-born ancestor is a great-grandparent or earlier, and you haven't already submitted an application, you are likely no longer eligible under the updated law.
April 12, 2025 at 1:27 PM
zeinhorn.bsky.social
They just changed the law to limit to grandparents, it went into effect April 1st, I’m so sorry. Can you maybe go stay in Mexico and work remotely until you come up with a plan? This feels like it would make a solid case for an asylum claim

etias.com/articles/ita....
The new Italian law limiting citizenship by descent (jure sanguinis) to those with an Italian parent or grandparent took effect on April 1, 2025. This means that if your most recent Italian-born ancestor is a great-grandparent or earlier, and you haven't already submitted an application, you are likely no longer eligible under the updated law.
April 12, 2025 at 1:25 PM
zeinhorn.bsky.social
Lucille Bluth speech bubble
April 7, 2025 at 5:32 PM
zeinhorn.bsky.social
Lucille Bluth speech bubble
April 5, 2025 at 6:18 AM
zeinhorn.bsky.social
Screenshot of a televangelist praying, captioned: JESUS, I SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE FOR OTHER PEOPLE, AND I WANT THAT FOR ME.
April 4, 2025 at 3:40 AM
zeinhorn.bsky.social
Lucille Bluth speech bubble 🙃
April 2, 2025 at 10:38 PM
zeinhorn.bsky.social
I’m so tired
Screenshot of Blue sky post that reads as follows: Stel Pavlou - Amazing. Booker wraps up a record breaking speech about fighting back, then feckless Schumer agrees to unanimous consent for Whitaker confirmation speeches. You can't make this shit up. Posted April 1, 2025 at 5:09 PM
April 2, 2025 at 3:35 PM
zeinhorn.bsky.social
It’s bad enough we’re being plunged into fascism without it being a literal fucking rerun of Nazi Germany
In 1933 Jews represented less than 1% approximately 500,000 people - of the total population of Germany. Of all U.S. adults, some 1.3 million people, and about 1.4%, or 300,000, of youth identify as transgender
April 2, 2025 at 2:20 PM
zeinhorn.bsky.social
Nazi
In 1933 Jews represented less than 1% approximately 500,000 people - of the total population of Germany. Of all U.S. adults, some 1.3 million people, and about 1.4%, or 300,000, of youth, identify as transgender
April 2, 2025 at 2:17 PM
zeinhorn.bsky.social
Lucille Bluth speech bubble
April 2, 2025 at 7:07 AM