Z(7): Did you know that I didn't like you when I was little?
Dad: Uh, that's not true. You used to make me carry you and play with you all the time!
Z: Yeah, that was punishment for being a boy.

Dad: *Working from home, minding his own business*
K(4.5): *Walks into the room*
Dad, you should never skate on a skateboard with high heels.

Mom: *brushing kid hair*
K(4.5): What's taking you so long? My hair's gonna get messed up anyway...

K(4y): *eating broccoli that had sesame seeds stuck to it* I don't like this.
Z: Do you like burgers?
Mom: Yeah, sesame seeds are on burger buns!
K: *side eye* Stop talking about stuff.

(Easter egg candy)
K(4y): Ooo! M&Ms
Z(6.5y): They're all M&Ms, sweetheart.
K: If you have M&Ms, it doesn't mean everyone has M&Ms.

K(4y): *at Costco* I saw the tomatoes, but I was like, "K, don't think about it!"

At a traffic light:
K(4): Huh? Why'd we stop?
Dad: The light is red.
K: *gestures at light* Uh, you always DO this...

Dad: Z, time to wake up...
Z(6.5): *still asleep* Thumbs up; game ended

Randomly at 4am:
K(4): Z! You can go potty!
Dad: Do you need to go potty?
K: *sassy* No, Z can go potty. *satisfied smile and passes out*

K: I'm not a little kid anymore. I'm medium.
Mom: *emotionally* We don't have a little kid anymore...
K: *reassuringly* but I'm still cute...

Dad: Did you eat enough, Little K!
K(3.5y): I'm not little, I'm medium!

And so begin the adventures of Medium K