Thank you! Coincidentally I found that out by using a link from an older post. I’m happy you still got your page up, I was worried for a moment! I love your art, it always gets my heart pumping! I anticipate enjoying your community, I myself am an enby on estradiol.

Heyo, I wanted to take a look at your subscribestar page but it appears to be closed. Might it have something to do with this Mastercard fiasco? Is there another way to support you?

Adina looks like a shark-otter hybrid. Such a cool design!

I’m glad your trip went well and you’re back home safe & sound! I don’t really have anything too exciting planned this month, just to hang with friends whenever I can. I do have a goal of getting the house cleaned up decently by the end of the month.

I’m gooning already lol

I want to be here for my other cats, my dad, my dear friends, and for the things this world that have my love & attention. My death will come eventually sooner or later, so I no longer wish to expedite it. Whether or not this is the only life I’ll have, I’ll keep it as long as life allows me.

Sorry for the long thread of trauma-dumping, I’m not trying to depress you even further. It just kind of came out because it still hurts. I still persist however. I’m not okay and I might never be okay until some more years pass and I find some healing of my own. But I’m learning to accept it.

The last time I saw her was with my other on Nov 12 night. Early next morning when I was back home & my friend sleeping, she shot herself in a parking lot. It must’ve been an impulse decision, b/c her issues w/ her mom & her mental illness pushed her over the edge. I didn’t know half of it by then.

Her suicide hurt more because I hadn’t heard from her in months until the very night I found out about Aryll. Just hearing from my friend Ruthie that night made it bearable in the moment. She comforted me and we made plans to spend time together in the near future.

Especially when just her death and vanishment absolutely devastated me. And the grief unfortunately didn’t start or end with her. My mom passed away from cancer a few years ago & one of my friends committed suicide.

But obviously, it would’ve actually been the best to prevent her death. I took it as a hard lesson to supervise the little ones when they go outside and to keep them within the yard area. I’ll never forget how sweet & special she was. Her family is still here with me & I’m taking good care of them.

He didn’t have to do the search since the customer service hours were over, but he was kind enough to give it a try. Of course, in 2,500lbs of compacted waste it was impossible to find her let alone a couch. Just his trying was kind enough, and in the end it’s for the best I didn’t see the remains.

I think I would’ve totally lost my mind if I saw her like that. My neighbors only put her in the bin because they didn’t know if she was a stray or owned. They were tender and kind with me. I managed to track down the truck that picked up her body before it dumped, even had a worker attempt a search

I was too comfortable, being conditioned with Vlad’s ability to avoid traffic. He’s lived here for 7 years and I was never able to train him to stay indoors. I adopted him from Humane Society, but he is very much a free cat. He kept taking off his collars & insisting on going out thru the window.

I live in ohio. I rescued the cats exactly because coyotes & hawks were common in the woods I found them in. Then I moved back to my house in the suburbs next to a lake and a downtown city. Other predators don’t show in my area, but we are next to roads.

I didn’t get to say goodbye since she was already in the waste truck when I found out. It might’ve saved some of my sanity, because the neighbors said her head was ran over and flattened. The rain that day even washed away the blood. I could’ve prevented this and save my sanity from before that day.

I stayed up late worried about the election and had the window open for the cats to explore outside in the yard in my neighborhood, they were all semi-outdoor cats. Problem was, I didn’t supervise the new cats when they went out & it was the last time I would fail to supervise.

I lost Aryll on Nov 5 when she got out of the house early in the morning and got ran over. I didn’t find out until 4pm that day when my neighbors told me. They found her body early in the morning and had already gently disposed her body by the time I heard about it. I accepted that it was my fault.

Thank you Rain. Her name was Aryll, a mostly white calico. I rescued her & her siblings & mom from the woods @ my old friend’s cabin. Felina, Link, & Tiramisu are still with me along with my first adopted cat, Vlad. Felina=big calico
Link=grey siamese
Tiramisu=black tortieshell