9:
And I'm done.

Thankfully, it's been almost an entire year since the last time I was at an ER and a few months since I last SH. I found a few ways to cope and art is one, I've done a lot of personal art and felt like I had to do something with Zacora, so here is my mental illness in an art piece.

8:
I've been to the ER multiple times from being pushed over the edge or just not being able to keep it in anymore, then I do stupid shit I end up regretting and giving myself more of a reason to hate myself.

7:
I talk about this because mental illness is real, it's scary, and you NEVER know what is going on in someone's head or behind closed doors.

6:
These constant thoughts and memories trigger my fear and have me feeling like I'm locked up in a burning hot room tied up and pulled apart slowly, and the more that I think, it pulls more and more and more, until I rip open and spill.

5:
With how the world is now, it's horrifying to me to even think of stepping outside or opening messages cause God knows what will happen, especially to people like me.

4:
I'm scared I'll lose my family, my friends, or my life when talking about how I feel, having rejection sensitivity disorder is the worse feeling in the world and it just feels like everyone wants you away, gone, or dead.

3:
it's not fun anymore, it's tiring, yet I will always have that fear of being rejected. I've been going to therapy for almost 4 full years and finally opening up about how I feel is so relieving yet terrifying.

2:
I get scared of peoples opinions, their stares, and their actions, so I do what is best and I people please so I don't get the negative comments or looks. It's hard to even say I have my own personality when I noticed I take bits and pieces of everyone else's so I can adapt,

1:
It's draining, emotionally, mentally, and physically. It takes me what feels like years to do something I want or love when really I've been thinking for 20 minutes, and the main thing that stops me is my fear.