Tanya Tucker is so good nobody even cares that she pronounces her name like that

sex offenders are no longer required to go door to door, they just have to put stickers of anime girls on their car

sorry about your father's passing. 8 turnovers and just 3 assists. pathetic

when God closes a door he opens a private browser window

Every time a CEO gets a raise a Boeing loses its wings

if you have bright headlights, you're an asshole. that's how you know I'm a good person bc my headlights don't even work

we could never outlaw BDSM. what're they gonna do, handcuff me?

ask your doctor if death is right for you