A child’s heart is pure. Until he discovers fire. Heh-heh. 🔥

He died as he lived, being a dick.

The clocks changed, but I didn’t. I remain eternal and slightly late.

I gave sight to the blind, but the claim got denied — out of network, dude.

I said, ‘Let there be fire,’ and there was. Then I burned my hand, but it was still pretty cool. 🤘🏽🔥

In the beginning, God created the Internet. It was waste and void and it sucked.