guys she's

By the way I finally harvested

she might've fell off ......

Sorry for the very odd post, just that it's been sitting in my mind for quite a while now...
I'll go back to not talking in here for a month 🥀

I'm just waiting it out for now but like I don't even know anymore, from the perspective of others I seemed to be fine but in reality, I have been miserable the whole time as this keeps on screwing me over.
That feeling of miserable is making me contemplate on revealing myself now just to end it.

My only choice now is to either:
Come out now and hope that nothing gets catastrophically fucked for me, ending the issue way quicker.
OR...
Wait it out until another great opportunity pops up or until I'm just old enough to be independent, that way my family disapproving have way less impact on me.

I passed up the best opportunity I've ever had in my life and now well, everything's going rough dealing with my growing dysphoria.
I don't know if I'll be accepted by my family anymore if I were to reveal my true self now, especially with all the things I've been hearing from them political wise...

I wasn't aware of transgender at the time so like I thought those feelings were straight up weird, it wasn't actually.
Maybe just MAYBE if I've pushed the joke longer, I could've potentially discover that I was, indeed, a transfem, and with the perfect window I had, my life would've been way easier.