he's an absolute beast

thats a foul for sure

i should try that tactic, it might make me more productive.

real. i should get paid $100k a year to cook for and send money to other trans women.

i think its standard on wombs these days actually

i dont think u would have phone service but it probably comes w wifi

i need this to happen to me too

i kinda love that smell tbh

if there is literally anyone out there who knows what its like to have your own failing mental health ruin every good thing you have in life please tell me how you keep going. why you keep going. if it ever does get better. if you ever can forgive yourself for everything you regret.
idk if i can.

nights like this its hard to see things getting better. its hard to think it wouldn't just happen again if i did meet a group of friends and got close to them. im the fucking problem here. i always am. i don't know if there is a light at the end. im not sure i have the strength to find out.

i dont have a community i belong to anymore. im in a city i don't know where i dont know anyone but the person im dating. i dont know how to cope with that. i felt lonely before. i feel more lonely now. she gets to see them all and i have to stay away because i ruined everything with all of them.

i felt so much like i belonged there with them until two months in, then all the paranoia and fear came and stayed. would it have been different if we couldve talked it through? i dont know anymore. would it have been different if i had been medicated? absolutely. it doesn't change anything now.