it’s not for me to decide whether what i feel is valid or not but i know for a fact that what i’m doing in response to feeling so is not right. i feel bad. it’s sad. it’s unfair to the people i love. but this is the only way i can do. at least for now.

but i’m already so sad for the future me who’ll be left alone so i want to at least lessen the impact by already slowly distancing myself from them. not entirely cause i’m a very dependent bitch but leaving a space enough so that it won’t hurt me too much when it happens.

i know that my response to realizing this sad reality is not right. it’s just pushing away the important people of my life from me. i know that for sure.