This is just unfair.

Sometimes it overwhelms me so much that I don't want to exist from the start.
Just to wipe all those feelings on atomic level.

It is just about absence of feeling.
It is about not feeling 'at home' wherever you are.
Because you lost ability to get to this place that was home for you.

I hate it so much.
I hate this feeling of not having a reachable place you can call 'home'.
And I ain't talking about house, physical object.
And it's not about being literally homeless.

And I so much jealous of you, that have been born in the world where you have chance to come back somewhere you belong to.

But what if I don't have place to come back.
I fear that everything I have now is so fragile and temporary, and if I leave I will never achieve that again.
Because I lost already original place to come back.
It's impossible to come back there anymore.