Demodia
@xdemodiax.bsky.social
Indoors, outdoors, bedroom DJ and all things middle aged. Hampshire, UK
www.mixcloud.com/demodia
www.mixcloud.com/demodia
If anyone knows where I can hire a fully sound insulated room so that I can scream for 15 minutes, let me know. Been craving this for months.
Cannot do it here. Scream until my voice stops working. Just non stop screaming. Thanks
Cannot do it here. Scream until my voice stops working. Just non stop screaming. Thanks
December 10, 2025 at 4:00 PM
If anyone knows where I can hire a fully sound insulated room so that I can scream for 15 minutes, let me know. Been craving this for months.
Cannot do it here. Scream until my voice stops working. Just non stop screaming. Thanks
Cannot do it here. Scream until my voice stops working. Just non stop screaming. Thanks
At least one signal failure a week on my train commutes because that is what I pay for: The scenic route and journeys longer than a European flight.
December 9, 2025 at 6:51 PM
At least one signal failure a week on my train commutes because that is what I pay for: The scenic route and journeys longer than a European flight.
My work diner is playing xmas music all month.
Time to wear headphones at lunch.
Ho ho no.
Time to wear headphones at lunch.
Ho ho no.
December 8, 2025 at 2:10 PM
My work diner is playing xmas music all month.
Time to wear headphones at lunch.
Ho ho no.
Time to wear headphones at lunch.
Ho ho no.
I attempted to go to the office today to fill the quota. Got drenched in the pissing rain to find a massive delay and a signal failure.
All about the little wins of going home in the pissing rain, and logging on after placing all wet clothes to radiators.
Missed quota, did work from home. Fabulous
All about the little wins of going home in the pissing rain, and logging on after placing all wet clothes to radiators.
Missed quota, did work from home. Fabulous
December 4, 2025 at 10:57 PM
I attempted to go to the office today to fill the quota. Got drenched in the pissing rain to find a massive delay and a signal failure.
All about the little wins of going home in the pissing rain, and logging on after placing all wet clothes to radiators.
Missed quota, did work from home. Fabulous
All about the little wins of going home in the pissing rain, and logging on after placing all wet clothes to radiators.
Missed quota, did work from home. Fabulous
Currently recording financial processes for Audit (again because once is not enough) and the video software praises me like I am the next Spielberg or something.
December 3, 2025 at 11:27 AM
Currently recording financial processes for Audit (again because once is not enough) and the video software praises me like I am the next Spielberg or something.
For the past 5 years, I have completely detached myself from anything Christmassy. Christmas is something that happens to other people. Happy, loving, attached and great with their family people.
December 2, 2025 at 6:37 PM
For the past 5 years, I have completely detached myself from anything Christmassy. Christmas is something that happens to other people. Happy, loving, attached and great with their family people.
Reposted by Demodia
Woke up and felt incredibly lonely and sorry for myself this has to go away
December 2, 2025 at 7:12 AM
Woke up and felt incredibly lonely and sorry for myself this has to go away
I had a crash out at my other senior colleagues about having most of the days booked that I wanted off.
But then I realised, it's not their fault of they have plans, stuff to do with other people, holidays. It is my fault I have no one to plan with and I will be alone anyway.
But then I realised, it's not their fault of they have plans, stuff to do with other people, holidays. It is my fault I have no one to plan with and I will be alone anyway.
December 1, 2025 at 5:30 PM
I had a crash out at my other senior colleagues about having most of the days booked that I wanted off.
But then I realised, it's not their fault of they have plans, stuff to do with other people, holidays. It is my fault I have no one to plan with and I will be alone anyway.
But then I realised, it's not their fault of they have plans, stuff to do with other people, holidays. It is my fault I have no one to plan with and I will be alone anyway.
Much needed endorphins from last night's gig, Leftfield and Sven Vath. Was dancing for 5 hours and feel hungover today. Not drunk, just tired. The joys of middle age raving.
November 30, 2025 at 5:19 PM
Much needed endorphins from last night's gig, Leftfield and Sven Vath. Was dancing for 5 hours and feel hungover today. Not drunk, just tired. The joys of middle age raving.
What this year taught me:
Loneliness is the default.
No one will date you.
No one will care if you are sick.
You are forgettable.
Just go to gigs/raves alone and avoid hoping as it always lead to disappointment.
Music is the only answer.
Avoid being a killjoy to people by being alone. Sorted.
Loneliness is the default.
No one will date you.
No one will care if you are sick.
You are forgettable.
Just go to gigs/raves alone and avoid hoping as it always lead to disappointment.
Music is the only answer.
Avoid being a killjoy to people by being alone. Sorted.
November 28, 2025 at 11:35 AM
What this year taught me:
Loneliness is the default.
No one will date you.
No one will care if you are sick.
You are forgettable.
Just go to gigs/raves alone and avoid hoping as it always lead to disappointment.
Music is the only answer.
Avoid being a killjoy to people by being alone. Sorted.
Loneliness is the default.
No one will date you.
No one will care if you are sick.
You are forgettable.
Just go to gigs/raves alone and avoid hoping as it always lead to disappointment.
Music is the only answer.
Avoid being a killjoy to people by being alone. Sorted.
Also attempted to ahem, date this year.
Spoke to 6 people seriously this year. Got 2 dates.
Got ghosted when I was sick.
One I really liked Got bored within 2 weeks of knowing me.
Good thing I did not share my tunes with him for free, as he was quite pushy for that. 🖕🏻 you dude, buy them yourself.
Spoke to 6 people seriously this year. Got 2 dates.
Got ghosted when I was sick.
One I really liked Got bored within 2 weeks of knowing me.
Good thing I did not share my tunes with him for free, as he was quite pushy for that. 🖕🏻 you dude, buy them yourself.
November 28, 2025 at 11:32 AM
Also attempted to ahem, date this year.
Spoke to 6 people seriously this year. Got 2 dates.
Got ghosted when I was sick.
One I really liked Got bored within 2 weeks of knowing me.
Good thing I did not share my tunes with him for free, as he was quite pushy for that. 🖕🏻 you dude, buy them yourself.
Spoke to 6 people seriously this year. Got 2 dates.
Got ghosted when I was sick.
One I really liked Got bored within 2 weeks of knowing me.
Good thing I did not share my tunes with him for free, as he was quite pushy for that. 🖕🏻 you dude, buy them yourself.
Managed to go to 24 gigs this year. Missed 3 due to illness.
Had 2 spare tickets offered to 2 people. One declined as not their thing. Other said yes and he forgot, and he forgot he forgot. And still does. Never bought a spare ticket again. Booked more for next year, starting new year at one too.
Had 2 spare tickets offered to 2 people. One declined as not their thing. Other said yes and he forgot, and he forgot he forgot. And still does. Never bought a spare ticket again. Booked more for next year, starting new year at one too.
November 28, 2025 at 11:29 AM
Managed to go to 24 gigs this year. Missed 3 due to illness.
Had 2 spare tickets offered to 2 people. One declined as not their thing. Other said yes and he forgot, and he forgot he forgot. And still does. Never bought a spare ticket again. Booked more for next year, starting new year at one too.
Had 2 spare tickets offered to 2 people. One declined as not their thing. Other said yes and he forgot, and he forgot he forgot. And still does. Never bought a spare ticket again. Booked more for next year, starting new year at one too.
In a world where everything is dine by text, I am doomed as my texting comes across as rude or abrupt. I cannot meet people in the wild and all apps are messages.
Last attempt I jist got entitled hornbags who decided my single years equal to sexual desperation.
I hate this season so much.
Last attempt I jist got entitled hornbags who decided my single years equal to sexual desperation.
I hate this season so much.
November 26, 2025 at 11:29 AM
In a world where everything is dine by text, I am doomed as my texting comes across as rude or abrupt. I cannot meet people in the wild and all apps are messages.
Last attempt I jist got entitled hornbags who decided my single years equal to sexual desperation.
I hate this season so much.
Last attempt I jist got entitled hornbags who decided my single years equal to sexual desperation.
I hate this season so much.
My dating app experiment has now ended. Tried 3 apps, FB dating, Hinge and some music app.
1st matched me with a guy who immediately objectified my body and got annoyed when I asked him to stop. Blocked.
1st matched me with a guy who immediately objectified my body and got annoyed when I asked him to stop. Blocked.
November 23, 2025 at 12:48 AM
My dating app experiment has now ended. Tried 3 apps, FB dating, Hinge and some music app.
1st matched me with a guy who immediately objectified my body and got annoyed when I asked him to stop. Blocked.
1st matched me with a guy who immediately objectified my body and got annoyed when I asked him to stop. Blocked.
I have had headaches all day.
Feel like I'm drunk.
Perfect end to a week off, I guess.
Feel like I'm drunk.
Perfect end to a week off, I guess.
November 21, 2025 at 7:13 PM
I have had headaches all day.
Feel like I'm drunk.
Perfect end to a week off, I guess.
Feel like I'm drunk.
Perfect end to a week off, I guess.
Infrequent period are a peri symptoms, so you assume you have less periods right?
My body decides to give me my period twice this month, just because. Ffs
#perimenopause
My body decides to give me my period twice this month, just because. Ffs
#perimenopause
November 20, 2025 at 10:57 AM
Infrequent period are a peri symptoms, so you assume you have less periods right?
My body decides to give me my period twice this month, just because. Ffs
#perimenopause
My body decides to give me my period twice this month, just because. Ffs
#perimenopause
Years ago, I would drive 140 miles to do fun stuff with people.
Now, I drive to my therapist as I pay them to talk to them.
Life upgrade in a nutshell.
Now, I drive to my therapist as I pay them to talk to them.
Life upgrade in a nutshell.
November 17, 2025 at 12:41 PM
Years ago, I would drive 140 miles to do fun stuff with people.
Now, I drive to my therapist as I pay them to talk to them.
Life upgrade in a nutshell.
Now, I drive to my therapist as I pay them to talk to them.
Life upgrade in a nutshell.
I keep finding guys who either kill my joy or they kill my hope.
No normalcy here. Just loneliness and despair
No normalcy here. Just loneliness and despair
November 16, 2025 at 6:17 PM
I keep finding guys who either kill my joy or they kill my hope.
No normalcy here. Just loneliness and despair
No normalcy here. Just loneliness and despair
Just for one fucking day, I want to be seen, held and taken care of.
One. Fucking. Day.
One. Fucking. Day.
November 7, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Just for one fucking day, I want to be seen, held and taken care of.
One. Fucking. Day.
One. Fucking. Day.
Just got a Xmas gift catalogue through the post. The whole thing seems so alien to me since I banished Xmas from 2020.
Worst season of the year for the holy trinity from hell: Xmas, NYE and birthday. Managed to find gigs for 2 out of 3 this year. So, alone with other ppl and loud music.
Worst season of the year for the holy trinity from hell: Xmas, NYE and birthday. Managed to find gigs for 2 out of 3 this year. So, alone with other ppl and loud music.
November 6, 2025 at 6:37 AM
Just got a Xmas gift catalogue through the post. The whole thing seems so alien to me since I banished Xmas from 2020.
Worst season of the year for the holy trinity from hell: Xmas, NYE and birthday. Managed to find gigs for 2 out of 3 this year. So, alone with other ppl and loud music.
Worst season of the year for the holy trinity from hell: Xmas, NYE and birthday. Managed to find gigs for 2 out of 3 this year. So, alone with other ppl and loud music.
Acceptance is to sleep in the middle of my double bed, with just one pillow. This is it.
November 5, 2025 at 11:27 PM
Acceptance is to sleep in the middle of my double bed, with just one pillow. This is it.
Feeling incredibly angry and frustrated today.
And lonely, always lonely.
I hate this season and I want it to die.
And lonely, always lonely.
I hate this season and I want it to die.
November 5, 2025 at 10:32 AM
Feeling incredibly angry and frustrated today.
And lonely, always lonely.
I hate this season and I want it to die.
And lonely, always lonely.
I hate this season and I want it to die.
Live, laugh, limerence.
November 4, 2025 at 11:50 AM
Live, laugh, limerence.
Halloween today. A good opportunity to cosplay as a human, as I currently exist as a Bill paying husk or an existence.
October 31, 2025 at 1:53 PM
Halloween today. A good opportunity to cosplay as a human, as I currently exist as a Bill paying husk or an existence.
Seeing this guy & most likely, I will have the role of building him back up, give him support & confidence until he turns around & tells me that he can do "better".
Currently at stage that after being keen, he keeps me at a distance.
Novelty will wear off again & I will give up entirely after that.
Currently at stage that after being keen, he keeps me at a distance.
Novelty will wear off again & I will give up entirely after that.
October 24, 2025 at 11:12 AM
Seeing this guy & most likely, I will have the role of building him back up, give him support & confidence until he turns around & tells me that he can do "better".
Currently at stage that after being keen, he keeps me at a distance.
Novelty will wear off again & I will give up entirely after that.
Currently at stage that after being keen, he keeps me at a distance.
Novelty will wear off again & I will give up entirely after that.