I recently taught my 3 yr old nephew the word "nostril." I am stupidly proud when he randomly comes up to me, shoves his fingers up his nose and says "Two nostril!" with a massive smile on his face.

Hearing the CEO of my company say "We need diversity in our team" is a breath of fresh air.

I wish all the "Protect Voters Rights" politicians cared as much about "Making sure citizens can vote" as they did "Making sure non-citizens (and sometimes the other party) can't vote"

I have discovered the secret to weight loss!
I've lost 5 pounds in 3 days.
The Secret?
Having 2 nasty cankersores in your mouth that make eating extremely painful.

I suspect this isn't gonna work long term.

I hate how most tax prep companies ads are "Taxes are SO complicated. Just pay us to take care of the hard stuff."

Yeah, taxes are complicated (in part) because you spend 100s of millions of dollars killing bills that would simplify them.

So my workplace has maternity parking, and I think the way they designate it is kind of adorable.

You ever send an email to a friend and go "Oh shit, I was still in work-brain mode. That was way too formal?"

Hello yes I am real xander. Do you wanna go skateboards?