Listening to mommy ASMR roleplays with the boys 🔥
December 1, 2025 at 10:06 AM
Listening to mommy ASMR roleplays with the boys 🔥
O! To be a cat rolling on a slab of concrete! Alas, I am only a man.
October 29, 2025 at 11:28 PM
O! To be a cat rolling on a slab of concrete! Alas, I am only a man.
I never let myself talk anymore.
September 9, 2025 at 7:00 AM
I never let myself talk anymore.
Drew an ace of fours out of the tarot deck again :/
August 25, 2025 at 10:32 AM
Drew an ace of fours out of the tarot deck again :/
I'm so full of dreams and bullshit
August 4, 2025 at 7:45 AM
I'm so full of dreams and bullshit
I'm surprised Yamaha doesn't make full-on cars. I feel like they'd be good at that.
August 3, 2025 at 8:18 AM
I'm surprised Yamaha doesn't make full-on cars. I feel like they'd be good at that.
I specialize in turmoil of the inner variety.
July 25, 2025 at 4:36 AM
I specialize in turmoil of the inner variety.
TIL there's a creature called a "plumber," and you can summon one with a ritual that involves pouring copius amounts of bacon grease down your kitchen sink.
July 21, 2025 at 8:52 PM
TIL there's a creature called a "plumber," and you can summon one with a ritual that involves pouring copius amounts of bacon grease down your kitchen sink.
IYKYK...yeah no shit that's how knowing works
July 14, 2025 at 8:29 AM
IYKYK...yeah no shit that's how knowing works
"There is no statement that applies to all human beings," is itself a statement that applies to all human beings.
July 11, 2025 at 9:11 AM
"There is no statement that applies to all human beings," is itself a statement that applies to all human beings.
Kinda crazy how everyone is susceptible to propaganda except for me.
June 27, 2025 at 8:16 AM
Kinda crazy how everyone is susceptible to propaganda except for me.
Questioning my humanity after I dreamed of electric sheep last night.
June 27, 2025 at 6:29 AM
Questioning my humanity after I dreamed of electric sheep last night.
Make a live action Kung Fu Panda, you cowards! You won't.
June 21, 2025 at 9:37 AM
Make a live action Kung Fu Panda, you cowards! You won't.
Pronouncing "Godzilla" like "tortilla"
June 12, 2025 at 9:30 AM
Pronouncing "Godzilla" like "tortilla"
Gonna start saying "Where my hug at?" way more often.
March 23, 2025 at 7:18 PM
Gonna start saying "Where my hug at?" way more often.
Lately I've been forgetting to turn my swag on 😔
March 22, 2025 at 8:22 AM
Lately I've been forgetting to turn my swag on 😔
What the hell is a bygone, anyway?
March 19, 2025 at 6:28 AM
What the hell is a bygone, anyway?
My travel visa to enter Stick Nation was rejected today 😮💨
March 17, 2025 at 9:43 PM
My travel visa to enter Stick Nation was rejected today 😮💨
Transformers One is so good!!! I'm not even a Transformers fan and I love it!
March 8, 2025 at 8:35 PM
Transformers One is so good!!! I'm not even a Transformers fan and I love it!
Enough pining. Try sprucing instead 🌲💪
March 6, 2025 at 8:13 AM
Enough pining. Try sprucing instead 🌲💪
I'm dehydration-maxxing. I'm in my jerky era. My lips are chapped and my resolve is absolute. I'm closer to passing out than ever thought possible.
March 1, 2025 at 12:35 PM
I'm dehydration-maxxing. I'm in my jerky era. My lips are chapped and my resolve is absolute. I'm closer to passing out than ever thought possible.
I thought I'd have more to tweet about tbh
February 21, 2025 at 9:23 PM
I thought I'd have more to tweet about tbh
First Twitter, then Threads, now this. Here's to you, BlueSky! Because if one day, I'm forced to learn Mastodon, I will have lost all hope.
February 11, 2025 at 7:56 AM
First Twitter, then Threads, now this. Here's to you, BlueSky! Because if one day, I'm forced to learn Mastodon, I will have lost all hope.