Having to come to terms with loving my gf so much that I'm ruining her sleep schedule by keeping her up late telling her how precious and hauntingly beautiful she is. I wake up in the night and get excited to turn over and glance at her sleeping, it's like tumbleweeds of dreamy sunshine in my tummy.

Me: god why am I so emotional and neurotic today what is wrong with me

My perfect boobs: hey you know those red hot nickel ball videos where they melt through random stuff

Me: yeah

MPB: yeah we swallowed two of those and also your cycle is about to wreck your shit so y'know
make peace

Me:

Deglet Noor has huge DND big bad energy