Word Layman
@wordlayman.bsky.social
All about puns, word play, and dad jokes.
Expect far-fetched jokes that may or may not be funny.
Expect far-fetched jokes that may or may not be funny.
Some people claim microwaves are harmful, so I tried macrowaving my soup. It sloshed everywhere.
November 15, 2025 at 10:51 PM
Some people claim microwaves are harmful, so I tried macrowaving my soup. It sloshed everywhere.
Have you heard about the insect that sells t-shirts at every concert?
It is a travelling merch ant.
It is a travelling merch ant.
October 9, 2025 at 7:15 PM
Have you heard about the insect that sells t-shirts at every concert?
It is a travelling merch ant.
It is a travelling merch ant.
Enjoying some nice Oolong tea right now. You gotta be careful to only steep it for a minute or less. Any longer, and it is Toolong.
October 1, 2025 at 9:21 AM
Enjoying some nice Oolong tea right now. You gotta be careful to only steep it for a minute or less. Any longer, and it is Toolong.
The baking aisle is too complicated for me. There is 'all-purpose/'plain', 'high gluten'/'strong', 'wholemeal' and the naming is so confusing.
It would be much more straightforward without the floury language.
Fun-fact: I found out that flour naming conventions differ by country A LOT: w.wiki/FQFs
It would be much more straightforward without the floury language.
Fun-fact: I found out that flour naming conventions differ by country A LOT: w.wiki/FQFs
Wheat flour - Wikipedia
en.wikipedia.org
September 20, 2025 at 7:58 PM
The baking aisle is too complicated for me. There is 'all-purpose/'plain', 'high gluten'/'strong', 'wholemeal' and the naming is so confusing.
It would be much more straightforward without the floury language.
Fun-fact: I found out that flour naming conventions differ by country A LOT: w.wiki/FQFs
It would be much more straightforward without the floury language.
Fun-fact: I found out that flour naming conventions differ by country A LOT: w.wiki/FQFs
Cuneiform is an ancient writing system using wedge-shaped impressions, like these: 𒂠𒀭 𒋠𒀭𒋀 𒋀𒊠𒀀𒋠𒊀𒇠𒀀𒋀𒄀
That makes those who study it cuneilinguists.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuneiform
That makes those who study it cuneilinguists.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuneiform
Cuneiform - Wikipedia
en.wikipedia.org
September 20, 2025 at 7:45 PM
Cuneiform is an ancient writing system using wedge-shaped impressions, like these: 𒂠𒀭 𒋠𒀭𒋀 𒋀𒊠𒀀𒋠𒊀𒇠𒀀𒋀𒄀
That makes those who study it cuneilinguists.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuneiform
That makes those who study it cuneilinguists.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuneiform
Shout out to baked potatoes with rosemary. I think they're a thyme-less classic.
August 28, 2025 at 6:04 PM
Shout out to baked potatoes with rosemary. I think they're a thyme-less classic.
The bee says it likes all its relatives equally, but the bee's favourite is its sister's daughter.
That girl is the bee's niece.
That girl is the bee's niece.
June 6, 2025 at 7:58 AM
The bee says it likes all its relatives equally, but the bee's favourite is its sister's daughter.
That girl is the bee's niece.
That girl is the bee's niece.
Today I was called a cutie, but it is all an act; a mere character I am playing out of boredom.
I am a char cutie, bored.
Sorry for the ham-fisted pun, I know it is cheesy. I should stop before the puns turn sour, dough.
I am a char cutie, bored.
Sorry for the ham-fisted pun, I know it is cheesy. I should stop before the puns turn sour, dough.
May 13, 2025 at 2:11 PM
Today I was called a cutie, but it is all an act; a mere character I am playing out of boredom.
I am a char cutie, bored.
Sorry for the ham-fisted pun, I know it is cheesy. I should stop before the puns turn sour, dough.
I am a char cutie, bored.
Sorry for the ham-fisted pun, I know it is cheesy. I should stop before the puns turn sour, dough.
Attention chess beginners, be careful with those tower-looking pieces. Try to avoid making rook-ie mistakes.
May 12, 2025 at 8:06 AM
Attention chess beginners, be careful with those tower-looking pieces. Try to avoid making rook-ie mistakes.
If you make friends at Alcoholics Anonymous, are they your rehabibis?
May 9, 2025 at 1:02 PM
If you make friends at Alcoholics Anonymous, are they your rehabibis?
Arnold said "I'll be back", but do an apprenticeship at a German bakery and you'll be Bäcker.
April 29, 2025 at 1:00 PM
Arnold said "I'll be back", but do an apprenticeship at a German bakery and you'll be Bäcker.
If I need a gasket for a French water pipe, do I ask the shop for an eaux-ring?
April 27, 2025 at 6:14 PM
If I need a gasket for a French water pipe, do I ask the shop for an eaux-ring?
Did you see the musical based on 'Mars Attacks!' (1996)? It's a bit weird at first, but grows on you. It's an ack-choired taste.
April 23, 2025 at 4:18 PM
Did you see the musical based on 'Mars Attacks!' (1996)? It's a bit weird at first, but grows on you. It's an ack-choired taste.
I heard that in some monarchies, the throne always went to the most mature and careful child. It was called 'heiring on the side of caution'.
April 19, 2025 at 11:55 AM
I heard that in some monarchies, the throne always went to the most mature and careful child. It was called 'heiring on the side of caution'.
Be careful with police in hospitals, they might put you under cardiac arrest. And then you might go to cardiac prison, and maybe find love, but we will all know how it ends. There are lots of broken hearts in cardiac prison.
April 18, 2025 at 9:46 PM
Be careful with police in hospitals, they might put you under cardiac arrest. And then you might go to cardiac prison, and maybe find love, but we will all know how it ends. There are lots of broken hearts in cardiac prison.
I received strongly mixed feedback on my new sunglasses. They are polarizing glasses.
April 13, 2025 at 8:34 AM
I received strongly mixed feedback on my new sunglasses. They are polarizing glasses.
The most disgusting ingredient in my kitchen must be starch. It is truly thickening.
April 6, 2025 at 8:30 AM
The most disgusting ingredient in my kitchen must be starch. It is truly thickening.
No weekend is complete without some nice scrambled eggs with cheese. It is vegan cheese though, so I believe I may only call it an Omelette du Homage.
April 5, 2025 at 9:57 AM
No weekend is complete without some nice scrambled eggs with cheese. It is vegan cheese though, so I believe I may only call it an Omelette du Homage.
Today's cooking was a big W
That is to say, it got a double eww.
That is to say, it got a double eww.
April 2, 2025 at 1:53 PM
Today's cooking was a big W
That is to say, it got a double eww.
That is to say, it got a double eww.
Did you know there was a famously depressing bard group with the hit songs 'Landing in Llundain' and 'Kryptonite'? They were called Tudor's Down.
April 1, 2025 at 8:21 AM
Did you know there was a famously depressing bard group with the hit songs 'Landing in Llundain' and 'Kryptonite'? They were called Tudor's Down.
When introducing myself I always mention my metal stamp collection. It makes a good impression.
March 31, 2025 at 8:29 AM
When introducing myself I always mention my metal stamp collection. It makes a good impression.
If I sold prostheteses for docked boxers, would I be a retailer?
March 29, 2025 at 9:08 PM
If I sold prostheteses for docked boxers, would I be a retailer?
Are prisons on Creta made of con-cretes?
March 28, 2025 at 10:36 AM
Are prisons on Creta made of con-cretes?
I thought choosing new feathers for my pillow would cheer me up, but it just has me feeling down.
March 28, 2025 at 9:51 AM
I thought choosing new feathers for my pillow would cheer me up, but it just has me feeling down.
In an ironic twist of gardening nomenclature, a Ha-Ha requires a depression.
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ha-ha
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ha-ha
Ha-ha - Wikipedia
en.m.wikipedia.org
March 27, 2025 at 9:21 PM
In an ironic twist of gardening nomenclature, a Ha-Ha requires a depression.
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ha-ha
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ha-ha