Woody Finch
@woodyfinch.bsky.social
Baffled, troubled, falling into canals. Help.
Do funeral directors have solemnity training? Or is it considered a natural talent?
February 1, 2026 at 4:56 PM
Do funeral directors have solemnity training? Or is it considered a natural talent?
At what point is it okay to perform the Heimlich manoeuvre on a known stammerer that you have seen eating wine gums?
February 1, 2026 at 4:52 PM
At what point is it okay to perform the Heimlich manoeuvre on a known stammerer that you have seen eating wine gums?
Things NOT to do if you fall into a canal:
- Yawn
- Initiate a conversation with barge owners
- Hold onto a swan
- Respond to emails
- Grab a fishing rod
- Yawn
- Initiate a conversation with barge owners
- Hold onto a swan
- Respond to emails
- Grab a fishing rod
February 1, 2026 at 4:49 PM
Things NOT to do if you fall into a canal:
- Yawn
- Initiate a conversation with barge owners
- Hold onto a swan
- Respond to emails
- Grab a fishing rod
- Yawn
- Initiate a conversation with barge owners
- Hold onto a swan
- Respond to emails
- Grab a fishing rod
Yeah, but who ISN'T in the Epstein files? That's the question no one is asking.
February 1, 2026 at 4:23 PM
Yeah, but who ISN'T in the Epstein files? That's the question no one is asking.
Why do we teach kids to swim backstroke?
We don't teach them to run backwards into walls.
Is it in case they need to keep an eye on a water-bound enemy pursuing them?
We don't teach them to run backwards into walls.
Is it in case they need to keep an eye on a water-bound enemy pursuing them?
January 31, 2026 at 4:03 PM
Why do we teach kids to swim backstroke?
We don't teach them to run backwards into walls.
Is it in case they need to keep an eye on a water-bound enemy pursuing them?
We don't teach them to run backwards into walls.
Is it in case they need to keep an eye on a water-bound enemy pursuing them?
You know you've been married a long time when your wife asks you if you have the horn and you assume she means the shoe horn.
January 31, 2026 at 3:58 PM
You know you've been married a long time when your wife asks you if you have the horn and you assume she means the shoe horn.
Why is high pressure good for the weather but bad for your blood?
January 31, 2026 at 3:57 PM
Why is high pressure good for the weather but bad for your blood?
Do crematorium staff relax on the weekend by inviting a few friends round for a barbecue?
January 31, 2026 at 3:56 PM
Do crematorium staff relax on the weekend by inviting a few friends round for a barbecue?