HOWARD IN WONDERLAND QUOTES
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ALEX: ...It's been two years.
HOWARD: Elisa is... Elisa hasn't seen me in two years?! No wonder she looked a bit older...
HOWARD: Elisa is... Elisa hasn't seen me in two years?! No wonder she looked a bit older...
February 18, 2026 at 4:00 AM
ALEX: ...It's been two years.
HOWARD: Elisa is... Elisa hasn't seen me in two years?! No wonder she looked a bit older...
HOWARD: Elisa is... Elisa hasn't seen me in two years?! No wonder she looked a bit older...
HOWARD: ...Alright. I'll give him a call.
ELIZABETH: Good. Remember, we still love you. Elisa is in good hands with us.
ELIZABETH: Good. Remember, we still love you. Elisa is in good hands with us.
February 18, 2026 at 3:00 AM
HOWARD: ...Alright. I'll give him a call.
ELIZABETH: Good. Remember, we still love you. Elisa is in good hands with us.
ELIZABETH: Good. Remember, we still love you. Elisa is in good hands with us.
TV VOICEOVER: The FBI is offering a reward of up to $1M for information leading to the arrest of alleged murderer Howard Melrose.
February 18, 2026 at 2:00 AM
TV VOICEOVER: The FBI is offering a reward of up to $1M for information leading to the arrest of alleged murderer Howard Melrose.
ALEX: No one is going anywhere, Howard. It's... it's gonna be okay...
February 18, 2026 at 1:00 AM
ALEX: No one is going anywhere, Howard. It's... it's gonna be okay...
THE MARTIAN SERPENT: THE END OF THE WORLD IS NIGH.
February 18, 2026 at 12:00 AM
THE MARTIAN SERPENT: THE END OF THE WORLD IS NIGH.
ELISA: But you let him in, right? I don't know what it is about Alex that makes you feel like you can open up to him, but I'm glad that you can do that. You need someone you can rely on.
February 17, 2026 at 10:59 PM
ELISA: But you let him in, right? I don't know what it is about Alex that makes you feel like you can open up to him, but I'm glad that you can do that. You need someone you can rely on.
THE HORNED SERPENT: WHO BETTER TO SEEK FOR KNOWLEDGE ON THE OUTSIDE WORLD THAN A JOURNALIST? AND- AH, I DO RECALL SOMEONE DUBBING YOU THE 'MONUMENT OF TRAGEDY'. YOU WILL SERVE YOUR PURPOSE WELL, LITTLE HUMAN.
February 17, 2026 at 9:57 PM
THE HORNED SERPENT: WHO BETTER TO SEEK FOR KNOWLEDGE ON THE OUTSIDE WORLD THAN A JOURNALIST? AND- AH, I DO RECALL SOMEONE DUBBING YOU THE 'MONUMENT OF TRAGEDY'. YOU WILL SERVE YOUR PURPOSE WELL, LITTLE HUMAN.
HOWARD: Why would you... I mean... Why would anyone...
CTHONAUT A: You... really don't think people like you, do you?
CTHONAUT A: You... really don't think people like you, do you?
February 17, 2026 at 8:57 PM
HOWARD: Why would you... I mean... Why would anyone...
CTHONAUT A: You... really don't think people like you, do you?
CTHONAUT A: You... really don't think people like you, do you?
THOMAS: She's right. I believe you are capable. All you need do is focus.
CTHONAUT C: U-Uh, sure, I can try, but... Well, if it fails...
CTHONAUT C: U-Uh, sure, I can try, but... Well, if it fails...
February 17, 2026 at 7:57 PM
THOMAS: She's right. I believe you are capable. All you need do is focus.
CTHONAUT C: U-Uh, sure, I can try, but... Well, if it fails...
CTHONAUT C: U-Uh, sure, I can try, but... Well, if it fails...
KNIGHT: That's fine and all. But do you REALLY think either of these humans can fight?
JASMINE: I'LL have YOU know in my universe, I am JUST as much a hero as YOU.
JASMINE: I'LL have YOU know in my universe, I am JUST as much a hero as YOU.
February 17, 2026 at 6:57 PM
KNIGHT: That's fine and all. But do you REALLY think either of these humans can fight?
JASMINE: I'LL have YOU know in my universe, I am JUST as much a hero as YOU.
JASMINE: I'LL have YOU know in my universe, I am JUST as much a hero as YOU.
HOWARD: Have you been to Muir Woods? It's very pretty. It's kind of hard to get photographs of the trees since they're so tall.
ALEX: ...Muir Woods? No, I haven't been. What is it?
HOWARD: Let me surprise you. Please?
ALEX: ...Of course.
ALEX: ...Muir Woods? No, I haven't been. What is it?
HOWARD: Let me surprise you. Please?
ALEX: ...Of course.
February 17, 2026 at 5:56 PM
HOWARD: Have you been to Muir Woods? It's very pretty. It's kind of hard to get photographs of the trees since they're so tall.
ALEX: ...Muir Woods? No, I haven't been. What is it?
HOWARD: Let me surprise you. Please?
ALEX: ...Of course.
ALEX: ...Muir Woods? No, I haven't been. What is it?
HOWARD: Let me surprise you. Please?
ALEX: ...Of course.
CTHONAUT A: What's the last thing you remember?
HOWARD: I remember... Eunice. She... talked to me...
DEAN: Eunice?
HOWARD: I remember... Eunice. She... talked to me...
DEAN: Eunice?
February 17, 2026 at 4:56 PM
CTHONAUT A: What's the last thing you remember?
HOWARD: I remember... Eunice. She... talked to me...
DEAN: Eunice?
HOWARD: I remember... Eunice. She... talked to me...
DEAN: Eunice?
HOWARD: Have you been to Muir Woods? It's very pretty. It's kind of hard to get photographs of the trees since they're so tall.
ALEX: ...Muir Woods? No, I haven't been. What is it?
HOWARD: Let me surprise you. Please?
ALEX: ...Of course.
ALEX: ...Muir Woods? No, I haven't been. What is it?
HOWARD: Let me surprise you. Please?
ALEX: ...Of course.
February 17, 2026 at 3:56 PM
HOWARD: Have you been to Muir Woods? It's very pretty. It's kind of hard to get photographs of the trees since they're so tall.
ALEX: ...Muir Woods? No, I haven't been. What is it?
HOWARD: Let me surprise you. Please?
ALEX: ...Of course.
ALEX: ...Muir Woods? No, I haven't been. What is it?
HOWARD: Let me surprise you. Please?
ALEX: ...Of course.
HOWARD: ...You... really did come back again.
ALEX: I told you I would. Besides, I have something to give back to you.
HOWARD: Give back...? What is it this time?
ALEX: I told you I would. Besides, I have something to give back to you.
HOWARD: Give back...? What is it this time?
February 17, 2026 at 2:57 PM
HOWARD: ...You... really did come back again.
ALEX: I told you I would. Besides, I have something to give back to you.
HOWARD: Give back...? What is it this time?
ALEX: I told you I would. Besides, I have something to give back to you.
HOWARD: Give back...? What is it this time?
CTHONAUT A: Howard, let me in or so help me I'm going to kick your ass to space.
HOWARD: Why should I have to listen to a word you say?
CTHONAUT A: You know I'm capable. Don't test me.
HOWARD: Why should I have to listen to a word you say?
CTHONAUT A: You know I'm capable. Don't test me.
February 17, 2026 at 1:57 PM
CTHONAUT A: Howard, let me in or so help me I'm going to kick your ass to space.
HOWARD: Why should I have to listen to a word you say?
CTHONAUT A: You know I'm capable. Don't test me.
HOWARD: Why should I have to listen to a word you say?
CTHONAUT A: You know I'm capable. Don't test me.
ELISA: Howard, what happened? You're covered in bandages! And your face-
HOWARD: Trust me. You DON'T want to know the story. And I'm saying that as a journalist who'd tell just about ANY story.
HOWARD: Trust me. You DON'T want to know the story. And I'm saying that as a journalist who'd tell just about ANY story.
February 17, 2026 at 12:57 PM
ELISA: Howard, what happened? You're covered in bandages! And your face-
HOWARD: Trust me. You DON'T want to know the story. And I'm saying that as a journalist who'd tell just about ANY story.
HOWARD: Trust me. You DON'T want to know the story. And I'm saying that as a journalist who'd tell just about ANY story.
HOWARD: Elisa... Please stop. You're being really cruel, right now...
'ELISA': Do you hate me that much? All I want is my SISTER BACK!
'ELISA': Do you hate me that much? All I want is my SISTER BACK!
February 17, 2026 at 11:57 AM
HOWARD: Elisa... Please stop. You're being really cruel, right now...
'ELISA': Do you hate me that much? All I want is my SISTER BACK!
'ELISA': Do you hate me that much? All I want is my SISTER BACK!
ALEX: ...Howard...? Is something the m-
February 17, 2026 at 10:57 AM
ALEX: ...Howard...? Is something the m-
EUNICE: I know you and I didn't truly know each other. In the little time we spoke, I just knew you were a good person. A kind person. And I put you through so much selfishly.
February 17, 2026 at 9:56 AM
EUNICE: I know you and I didn't truly know each other. In the little time we spoke, I just knew you were a good person. A kind person. And I put you through so much selfishly.
MARTIN: Don't make me say it again. LEAVE.
HOWARD: If you could just be reasonable for ONCE!-
SLAM.
HOWARD: If you could just be reasonable for ONCE!-
SLAM.
February 17, 2026 at 8:56 AM
MARTIN: Don't make me say it again. LEAVE.
HOWARD: If you could just be reasonable for ONCE!-
SLAM.
HOWARD: If you could just be reasonable for ONCE!-
SLAM.
ELISA: Howard, stop!!! My bag!
HOWARD: Don't worry, I've got it, Elisa. See?
ELISA: Oh... Phew. I was scared you dropped it.
HOWARD: Me? Dropping you or your stuff? I'd never.
HOWARD: Don't worry, I've got it, Elisa. See?
ELISA: Oh... Phew. I was scared you dropped it.
HOWARD: Me? Dropping you or your stuff? I'd never.
February 17, 2026 at 7:56 AM
ELISA: Howard, stop!!! My bag!
HOWARD: Don't worry, I've got it, Elisa. See?
ELISA: Oh... Phew. I was scared you dropped it.
HOWARD: Me? Dropping you or your stuff? I'd never.
HOWARD: Don't worry, I've got it, Elisa. See?
ELISA: Oh... Phew. I was scared you dropped it.
HOWARD: Me? Dropping you or your stuff? I'd never.
ALEX: I don't want to keep holding his hand like this... but it seems like the only way for now.
February 17, 2026 at 6:55 AM
ALEX: I don't want to keep holding his hand like this... but it seems like the only way for now.
EUNICE: ...I guess he heard me, after all...
February 17, 2026 at 5:56 AM
EUNICE: ...I guess he heard me, after all...
CTHONAUT C: Cthonaut A, I...
CTHONAUT A: Alex. Call me Alex. I haven't heard you say it in so long, I...
CTHONAUT A: Alex. Call me Alex. I haven't heard you say it in so long, I...
February 17, 2026 at 4:55 AM
CTHONAUT C: Cthonaut A, I...
CTHONAUT A: Alex. Call me Alex. I haven't heard you say it in so long, I...
CTHONAUT A: Alex. Call me Alex. I haven't heard you say it in so long, I...
ALEX: A piece of shit like you isn't WORTH my time or effort.
February 17, 2026 at 3:56 AM
ALEX: A piece of shit like you isn't WORTH my time or effort.