I moved in to the document because the landlord never visits so I thought I could prob establish squatters rights before he noticed, but honestly I’m glad I have to move out now because it’s disgusting in there.

god damn robert eggars beat me to the punch

Pics please

that's crazy blue velvet has just started happening in places

I’m gonna be towing the actual United States nuclear arsenal in my pickup truck (my buddy is a general) and I got some streamers from Party City.

I’m still holding out hope that I learn how to cure this dang hangover

Trump tacks up his own photo and strings a new line straight from the eye at the top of the pyramid to himself, crossing all red lines in one fell swoop. He keeps muttering to himself one word: “foolproof”.

A presentation in the Oval Office: a conspiracy theorist has used red string to connect various groups (e.g. space lizards) to other groups (e.g. the LIBERALS) in a complicated diagram of power.

bribes

Maybe we can hack this: if Marina Abromavic would declare her latest piece of self-mutilating performance art is Trump and Musk themselves then they might get duck-season-rabbit-seasoned into condemning themselves as degenerate and then getting torn apart Bacchae-style by rabid maga-men.

Carlton Mellick is great. You might also enjoy Exercise Bike.