*yield

I have this immense feeling of healthy pride and intense joy when I remember what I went through mentally and how I kept going despite the hell in my head lol

Please be patient with yourself, growth can come with hardships but I swear it's so fulfilling and worth the time

I'm so happy being sober and not struggling anymore with my intrusive thoughts and auto-destructive tendencies

There are still somewhat there, but I don't cave in and I don't yiekd

Even if I have still a long way to go, it's not comparable to the years I knew before

Gaining confidence and trust in yourself, your peers, is incredible when you grew constantly in unhealthy friendships environments. The only thing you knew was mistrust and control, being used or using others, and now, you feel free. That's the feeling I have rn

Even with all the losses this year, all the things I tore apart by my acts and own mental issues, I feel like breathing again. This is such a new feeling, growing up with hatred so deep and wanting to end everything, now I just want to keep going and see more of the world. This is so satisfying

And I was so right about a background not excusing someone's actions. You could have Guts' backstory but still act conciously and trying not to insult people. Insulting is a deliberate choice and a pain carefully crafted.

I'm so glad I'm not being tested by anyone like a lab rat. I was constantly with him, I had to prove him I loved him many times and he never put me in the same place as him. Goshhh will think about other things but I feel like he never valued me and I was used for years.

I feel guilty about not trying better but how could I stay in a abusive thingy (won't call that a relationship because it wasn't) when I was constantly called a dog? How the fuck that man told me "sorry this habit won't go away easily even if we're friends" ?? He can go fuck himself on the holidays