Welp, Happy 3 year anniversary to the worst moment of my entire life.

I don't belong here. I don't belong anywhere. Yet I am forced to continue down this lonesome, miserable path, bringing misfortune to those that I care about and joy to those who benefit from my suffering

To all those who I have wronged before, I give my sincerest apologies, for what I have done so far, and for what will likely happen again. I am a plague upon this world, doing his best to try to make things better, but ultimately only making things worse.

But even then, the universe would have dictated that my life may not go in any truly positive direction. Only neutral at best, and plummeting towards the inner circles of hell's domain by the ultimate end

Even at times where I could have changed my fate even slightly, I made the worst of choices, and only through hindsight that is clear as day will I find the outcome that could have made things better for me had I thought about it for long enough, if at all.

There is no changing of my fate. My destiny was set long before I was born, and it will continue that way until my inevitable demise.

I cannot find happiness without bringing any kind of suffering to others, and that happiness is but fleeting, for it is not my place in the world to find happiness. I am meant for others to use me as they see fit, always to my own detriment, and never in a way that may benefit myself

Where once I saw light in even the darkest of times, now all I see is shadows, even the brightest of days. I am nothing more than a tool, to be used by others for their own happiness at the cost of my misery.

When I'm alone, even on a good day, I'm reminded by my brain that my life is - and will forever be - a failure, and that the only way I will find anything even close to true happiness is through a facade that will only happen if I achieve the impossible

The universe has dictated that all my happiness, all my joy, all sense that things will go well is but temporary, and that I am destined for nothing but pain.

Do they even care? Do they even know what today is? I don't know, but my mind tells me the answer to both is no, and that I should have known better than to think anything would ever change in my life.

Every day since the last just brings more pain, yet all I can do to try and get past it is to just accept that my fate is the way that it is.

Sometimes it really feels like that. Speaking from experience here (especially given what's going on tomorrow)

Honestly? Same =_='

Glad to see you come to this realization about yourself, girl