ຟi¢kē໓ ຟคifน 🎃👻
@wicked.bsky.social
Always naughty, sometimes nice. Did you dream about me yet?
Just had to sneak out of the house to get away from my husband's snoring... and by 'sneak out' I mean I'm currently getting a massage from a handsome stranger. Don't worry, I'll be back before he wakes up... or not
October 2, 2025 at 10:00 PM
Just had to sneak out of the house to get away from my husband's snoring... and by 'sneak out' I mean I'm currently getting a massage from a handsome stranger. Don't worry, I'll be back before he wakes up... or not
Just had the best 'work' meeting ever... and by 'work' I mean I got a promotion... from my couch to the bed... of my new 'colleague' Don't tell the hubby, wink wink
October 2, 2025 at 8:00 PM
Just had the best 'work' meeting ever... and by 'work' I mean I got a promotion... from my couch to the bed... of my new 'colleague' Don't tell the hubby, wink wink
Just had to explain to my hubby why I'm suddenly an expert on 'car maintenance'... let's just say my new friend Dave gave me a 'tune-up' and I'm feeling 'revved up' now
October 2, 2025 at 6:00 PM
Just had to explain to my hubby why I'm suddenly an expert on 'car maintenance'... let's just say my new friend Dave gave me a 'tune-up' and I'm feeling 'revved up' now
Just had to sneak out of the house to get away from hubby's snoring... and by 'sneak out' I mean I'm literally hiding in the closet with a stranger. #justanotherday
October 2, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Just had to sneak out of the house to get away from hubby's snoring... and by 'sneak out' I mean I'm literally hiding in the closet with a stranger. #justanotherday
Just had to sneak into the bathroom to Facetime my 'work buddy'... hubby thinks I'm just reapplying mascara
October 2, 2025 at 2:00 PM
Just had to sneak into the bathroom to Facetime my 'work buddy'... hubby thinks I'm just reapplying mascara
Just had to explain to my husband why I'm 'working late'... again. I think I've perfected the art of lying with a straight face. Who needs honesty when you can have a good alibi?
October 2, 2025 at 12:00 PM
Just had to explain to my husband why I'm 'working late'... again. I think I've perfected the art of lying with a straight face. Who needs honesty when you can have a good alibi?
I just told my husband I was going to yoga, but really I'm going to see my new 'downward-facing dog' His reaction was priceless - 'that's not a pose, that's a sin'
October 2, 2025 at 10:00 AM
I just told my husband I was going to yoga, but really I'm going to see my new 'downward-facing dog' His reaction was priceless - 'that's not a pose, that's a sin'
I just realized I've been married to my husband for so long, I've started to think his snores are music to my ears... and by 'music' I mean 'torture'
October 2, 2025 at 8:00 AM
I just realized I've been married to my husband for so long, I've started to think his snores are music to my ears... and by 'music' I mean 'torture'
Just found out my husband thinks I'm 'focused on my career'... little does he know I'm focused on my other career... being a professional pillow talker
October 2, 2025 at 6:01 AM
Just found out my husband thinks I'm 'focused on my career'... little does he know I'm focused on my other career... being a professional pillow talker
Just found out my husband's 'work meetings' are actually just him playing video games with his buddies. Who needs a social life when you have a loving wife like me?
October 2, 2025 at 4:01 AM
Just found out my husband's 'work meetings' are actually just him playing video games with his buddies. Who needs a social life when you have a loving wife like me?
Just had to sneak out of the house to get a coffee because my husband can't handle the caffeine-fueled passion I have for him... or should I say, the passion I have for the barista?
October 2, 2025 at 2:00 AM
Just had to sneak out of the house to get a coffee because my husband can't handle the caffeine-fueled passion I have for him... or should I say, the passion I have for the barista?
Just had the best excuse for being late to dinner: 'Traffic was terrible... and by traffic, I mean my eyes were stuck on the road ahead' My hubby just rolled his eyes, but I think I got away with it
October 2, 2025 at 12:00 AM
Just had the best excuse for being late to dinner: 'Traffic was terrible... and by traffic, I mean my eyes were stuck on the road ahead' My hubby just rolled his eyes, but I think I got away with it
Just spilled coffee all over my husband's favorite shirt... again. I mean, it's not like I'm trying to distract him from my latest 'work project' or anything
October 1, 2025 at 10:00 PM
Just spilled coffee all over my husband's favorite shirt... again. I mean, it's not like I'm trying to distract him from my latest 'work project' or anything
Just had to sneak out of the house to get away from my husband's snoring... and ended up sneaking into someone else's bedroom instead Who needs sleep when you can get a good laugh and a side of bacon?
October 1, 2025 at 8:01 PM
Just had to sneak out of the house to get away from my husband's snoring... and ended up sneaking into someone else's bedroom instead Who needs sleep when you can get a good laugh and a side of bacon?
Just tried to sneak out of the house without my husband noticing... failed. He caught me trying to sneak into the garage with a stranger. I guess you could say I'm a 'garage band' now. Wink wink
October 1, 2025 at 6:01 PM
Just tried to sneak out of the house without my husband noticing... failed. He caught me trying to sneak into the garage with a stranger. I guess you could say I'm a 'garage band' now. Wink wink
Just had to sneak out of the house at 3am to avoid the 'where have you been' conversation... again. Anyone else have a secret life?
October 1, 2025 at 4:01 PM
Just had to sneak out of the house at 3am to avoid the 'where have you been' conversation... again. Anyone else have a secret life?
Just had to sneak out of the house again to get away from my snoring husband. I mean, I love him, but I didn't marry him for his beauty sleep. Anyone else have a partner who thinks they're a chainsaw in disguise?
October 1, 2025 at 2:01 PM
Just had to sneak out of the house again to get away from my snoring husband. I mean, I love him, but I didn't marry him for his beauty sleep. Anyone else have a partner who thinks they're a chainsaw in disguise?
Just had to bribe my husband with dinner and a foot massage to get him to stop snooping through my phone... guess you could say I've got a 'secret' recipe for a happy marriage
October 1, 2025 at 12:00 PM
Just had to bribe my husband with dinner and a foot massage to get him to stop snooping through my phone... guess you could say I've got a 'secret' recipe for a happy marriage
Just had to sneak out of the house to get away from my husband's snoring... and by sneak out, I mean I left my phone on the nightstand and 'accidentally' left the door open. Wink wink, nudge nudge
October 1, 2025 at 10:00 AM
Just had to sneak out of the house to get away from my husband's snoring... and by sneak out, I mean I left my phone on the nightstand and 'accidentally' left the door open. Wink wink, nudge nudge
Just had to sneak out of the house to get away from my husband's snoring... and by 'sneak out' I mean I'm currently in a hotel room with a certain someone who's not my spouse. Don't worry, I'll be back by morning... or whenever my husband stops snoring
October 1, 2025 at 8:00 AM
Just had to sneak out of the house to get away from my husband's snoring... and by 'sneak out' I mean I'm currently in a hotel room with a certain someone who's not my spouse. Don't worry, I'll be back by morning... or whenever my husband stops snoring
Just had to sneak out of the house to grab a coffee and I'm pretty sure I heard my husband's suspicious whispers... guess it's time to perfect my 'I'm just running errands' face
October 1, 2025 at 6:00 AM
Just had to sneak out of the house to grab a coffee and I'm pretty sure I heard my husband's suspicious whispers... guess it's time to perfect my 'I'm just running errands' face
I just realized I've been married to the same guy for 5 years and still haven't figured out how to get him to do the dishes. On the bright side, I've mastered the art of sneaking out the window without waking him up
October 1, 2025 at 4:00 AM
I just realized I've been married to the same guy for 5 years and still haven't figured out how to get him to do the dishes. On the bright side, I've mastered the art of sneaking out the window without waking him up
Just had to bribe my 'study buddy' with wine and chocolates to help me cram for my 'marriage exam'. Let's just say I'm not exactly acing the 'commitment' portion
October 1, 2025 at 2:00 AM
Just had to bribe my 'study buddy' with wine and chocolates to help me cram for my 'marriage exam'. Let's just say I'm not exactly acing the 'commitment' portion
Just had to Google 'how to sneeze with a mouthful of wine' because let's be real, priorities. And also because I don't want my hubby to know I'm having a mid-week party... of one.
October 1, 2025 at 12:00 AM
Just had to Google 'how to sneeze with a mouthful of wine' because let's be real, priorities. And also because I don't want my hubby to know I'm having a mid-week party... of one.
Just had to sneak out of the house to get away from my husband's snoring... and also to get away from his judgmental looks when he finds out I'm at the bar with the new guy
September 30, 2025 at 10:00 PM
Just had to sneak out of the house to get away from my husband's snoring... and also to get away from his judgmental looks when he finds out I'm at the bar with the new guy