Tyler!
whoaisthattyler.bsky.social
Tyler!
@whoaisthattyler.bsky.social
me and the parasocial relationship i have with my roomba with googly eyes
November 16, 2025 at 4:56 AM
listening to that track from The Whirlwind that gets faster and faster while you’re on the bus rly does make you feel like your bus is about to crash

but in a good way
November 9, 2025 at 1:55 AM
i took this photo of my roomba today and it has the vibe of those photos of peoples pet rats that are too happy on r/rats where they’re like “is my rat okay???”
November 9, 2025 at 1:54 AM
WHY ARE GRAPEFRUIT SO BITTER FOR NO FUCKING REASON

i accidentally bought grapefruit cuz it was on sale and i forgot that they taste like ass

bluesky better not mark me rude for this
November 8, 2025 at 6:43 AM
wisdom is reminding myself i dont have depression i simply had to do one chore
November 5, 2025 at 2:28 AM
the number one rule of cleaning is

many times you will look at something and go “hmm it is probably easier to burn down the entire universe and start over”

but if you put soap on it and scrub many times it will actually come off
November 5, 2025 at 12:25 AM
i have to do one (1) chore so i have zero mental today

i can’t cope w this

i was born to be one of those out of touch rockstars that is constantly on coke and dead by 24

i have to clean my kitchen bc my sister is staying w me

life is but a series of dark voids
November 5, 2025 at 12:15 AM
there is no part of my brain that evolved to process people who’ve died

i just always feel like “oh they couldn’t come this time, they are too busy, but they’ll get back to me later when they’re free”

being not alive really fills your calendar you feel

i am understanding of this
October 29, 2025 at 8:22 PM
it’s rly funny to me that the bad guy transformers are called Decepticons

like “damn these cars rly good at lying”
October 28, 2025 at 9:31 PM
every time my phone is at like 2%

but if i don’t text my friends on the ride home i will die

and the battery lasts all the way home

im like wow. this is exactly like what happened. in the story of hanukkah
October 24, 2025 at 3:42 AM
brocolli is great for when you feel like popping a whole tree into your mouth
October 23, 2025 at 2:46 AM
im so pissed off i have a pimple inside my nose

it feels like a loving god wouldn’t allow this to happen

proof unintelligent design is real once again
October 21, 2025 at 7:53 AM
there is an Objectively Best Seat in a restaurant

and it’s against the back wall, not too close to the walkways, facing the entrance, preferably at a booth

this is the most relaxing spot to dine
October 20, 2025 at 2:59 AM
red delicious more like red not delicious amirite fellas

this has been a certified red delicious hate post
October 20, 2025 at 1:21 AM
sometimes bitches be spicy for no good reason

and by bitches i mean green bell peppers 😒
October 19, 2025 at 5:07 AM
i looked at lemon seeds just now and got fucked up

their whole vibe is they contain the source code for generating lemons from the raw building blocks of life

shit’s fucked

(i am not high)
October 17, 2025 at 5:07 AM
me reading Joke Book For Kids at age 5: hmm. none of these are funny. guess im not old enough to be understanding jokes yet
October 14, 2025 at 7:10 PM
i can tell im not ready for fancy foods bc i accidentally cooked this pasta perfectly el dente

and i am pissed off bc they are Too Hard

i am used to my overcooked garbage noodles
October 14, 2025 at 4:55 AM
ok i was too narrow minded before

i was a glacier freeze truther

however the other blue variety blue cherry is also fire

i have expanded my horizons
October 13, 2025 at 3:30 AM
me: not wearing a shirt while cooking is intelligent! this way my clothes can't be splattered with oil

me when my me is splattered with oil: :C
October 8, 2025 at 9:51 PM
i spent basically all day playing Strange Antiquities w my friend

it was so fun when we accidentally got the secret ending right away bc we are both Insane

and Must Solve A Puzzle Or We Will Explode

god i love puzzle games

i need more. MORE
October 7, 2025 at 5:40 AM
ugh did not drum for 3 days

deeply understimulated

i can tell bc i yearn for a recreational facility where you can fight strangers while on crack cocaine

however i will do the hinged thing and take melatonin so i can sleep early and drum tmrw instead of ruin my own life

✨ wisdom ✨
October 2, 2025 at 6:16 AM
fat bear week slightly imba ngl

you can’t call one of them “chunk” and the rest of them numbers

and then be like “hmm wonder who will win”

no the human mind will be biased

biased towards the chunk

simple psychologie
October 2, 2025 at 6:07 AM
nobody ever tells you how funny it is on a day to day basis to have no functional memory

i rly be out here like “mmm this pepper smells great! BETTER GIVE IT A BIG SNIFF”

and then get mad at sneezing about it

like that’s not pepper’s main thing
October 1, 2025 at 4:10 AM
i was thinking as i was in bed that weirdly, one of the experiences i am most thankful for this year is being flat broke

i think everyone should get to experience what it’s like to have people help you while knowing you might never be able to repay them
September 30, 2025 at 5:08 AM