i hate having to come home and act nice and pretend i'm cishet and keep up appearances it drains my happiness so hard. but i have to because otherwise i have zero help paying rent or student loans, and i'd rather take advantage of these assholes for as long as i can as opposed to being homeless

i genuinely struggle to define the reality of my brain a lot. i dont know what about me is real or not and i hate it

very bad thoughts are happening

I'm going to be so honest when i say that I love being a woman, but i think i might hate being trans

i did not want this to be a vent account but i feel supremely awkward atm posting anything else tbh

i want to slam my head into the table until i bleed

I am still in so much physical discomfort constantly because my balls are still sore and I fucking hate it

There's just a lot going wrong for me right now

I really think the thing i'm truly scared of when posting is people's perception of me. Like i place so much weight in my head of do people think i'm annoying or cringe or stupid and i know it shouldn't be a focus and i should just be myself but it totally is for me

I am just a hopeless romantic who also wants literally any form of love as soon as possible

severe procrastination is killing me in real time

I am somehow the most connected I've ever felt and also the most lonely I've felt in a while

I fucking hate having gender dysphoria and completely seperate body dysmorphia at the same time. Like just pick one way to make me hate myself universe