New Show Idea: The Jumbotron of Consequences

Each week a different rich person gets surprise broadcasted on a jumbotron & is held responsible for their shitty actions. Chris Martin can host (optional)

Wait did he die too?

I haven’t sharpened a pencil in a long time (not dirty)

Might I remind you that tomorrow is the Ides of March……*eyebrow wiggle* 🗡️

Ok ok fine! I’ll say it because everyone else is afraid to: Severance is good!!!!!!!!!!

We went to our least favorite grocery store today with much dread because it’s lawless and weird in there & they were playing the Twin Peaks theme song????????????????

The world’s insanity has finally pushed me to my limit - I started playing Wordle

The story of the Garden of Eden is so over-dramatic. Let women have a snack!!!!!!!

Stickers are such an incredible invention. Like “What if life had more pizzaz?”

This team on Pop Culture Jeopardy was named “Philadelphia Threedom” and they didn’t mention @pftompkins.bsky.social once?!!?
@threedomusa.bsky.social

Some people call going to the bathroom “taking a bio break” but I like to be more up front & say “my meat sack needs maintenance”

Why did The Traitors think “in episode 2 we should add MORE MEN!!!!!!!!!” ?

Can I be funny on here?