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whamphetamine.bsky.social
riley
@whamphetamine.bsky.social
260 followers 110 following 970 posts
28, he/they, artist & published author, and all-around goofy loser
https://linktr.ee/whamphetamine
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whamphetamine.bsky.social
Local Man Puts Too Much Emotional Stock Into One Job Application And Crashes Out
Part of an email from an employer I applied to. It reads: "We appreciate your time and patience throughout our interview process. We did have several highly qualified candidates and have chosen to pursue another candidate for this position who we feel is best qualified."
November 18, 2025 at 1:37 PM
whamphetamine.bsky.social
A screenshot from the video game, The Outer Worlds 2, which features a dialogue scene with Ruth Basar, the leader of the Order. She is an ethereal grey-haired woman donning a green, gold, and copper futuristic ensemble that resembles a motherboard in aesthetic. A screenshot of Squidward grimacing in a worried way with the caption, "Oh no, she's hot!"
November 16, 2025 at 3:28 AM
whamphetamine.bsky.social
"and there's nothing wrong with me / this is how i'm s'posed to be / in a land of make-believe / that don't believe in me"

happy trans awareness week y'all. be safe, please.
🩵🩷🤍🩷🩵

#TDOR #TransAwarenessWeek #TDOR2025
November 14, 2025 at 5:46 PM
whamphetamine.bsky.social
i forgot to share this selfie i took last night lmao
A selfie of Riley, a white, fat, bearded transmasc person. His hair is shaggy and shaved on the sides into a green mullet. He's wearing glasses, black denim overalls, a red shirt, and a yellow knit cardigan, and has several facial piercings. He's standing in a retail store with a fake cardboard pipe over his shoulder, and he's smiling wide.
November 3, 2025 at 8:12 PM
whamphetamine.bsky.social
pls stop sending me this tiktok asking if it's true. it's satire, i promise, this has never happened to me. and even if it does ever happen, we're not allowed to return animatronics to the sales floor if they even have dirt on them
A screenshot of a tiktok video. There's a long-haired brunette man with brown eyes on the screen, and the caption says, "Please don't get freaky with the animatronics then return them to Spirit Halloween"
October 28, 2025 at 1:18 PM
whamphetamine.bsky.social
after the shift i had last night this is fucking child's play
A comment on one of OP's tiktoks. It's from user Vanilla_Gorilla226, and it's just an image that says, "ok" with a bundle of sticks under it, implying the phrase "ok faggot"
October 17, 2025 at 11:11 AM
whamphetamine.bsky.social
"you look like your dad"
16 oct 2025
poem by @whamphetamine.bsky.social
The first part of a poem titled "you look like your dad," written 16 October 2025 at 8:13 A.M. It reads: "16 oct 2025 8:13 A.M. "you look so much like your father," my mother tells me occasionally, fighting back tears in her hazel eyes. i used to take it as an insult, though, of course, she never intended it to be such. my father was a repressed catholic, a man full of rage and passion — and fear. so much fear. fear for the way the world would chew me up and spit me out, fear for the pain i would inevitably face." The second part of the same poem. It reads: "i'd like to think that, even after all these years, i still look like my mother, too. i may be bearded and covered in curly body hair, but i see her in my crinkled nose when i smile, in my thick, frizzy curls atop my head, in my shrieking laughter amidst a wave of joy." The third part of the same poem. It reads: "but i see my father now, too, and as i near my thirties, i realize that is a blessing. i see him in my broad shoulders covered in that italian hair, in my sausage-fingered hands, in my little ears — but i also see him in the ways i care for others, that instantaneous urge to empathize, to understand, to protect." The fourth and final part of the same poem. It reads: "i was scared to become my parents for two decades. i was terrified to inherit their trauma, loath to pass down the traits that could harm my children. now, i am them — but i am the amalgamation of their trauma, their passion, and their love, for better or worse. [signed: R.D.S.]"
October 16, 2025 at 1:54 PM
whamphetamine.bsky.social
some severe bedhead selfies for the feed bc i don't wanna get outta bed to get ready for work today 🫠
A selfie of Riley. He's a fat, white, bearded transmasc guy with blue eyes, several facial piercings, and a medium-length head of green hair shaved on the sides. He's extremely hairy all over his torso. He's smiling at the camera with his arm covering his chest as he hangs off the side of his bed slightly. A selfie of Riley. He's a fat, white, bearded transmasc guy with blue eyes, several facial piercings, and a medium-length head of green hair shaved on the sides. He's extremely hairy all over his torso. He's smiling with his hand propping up his head as he hangs off the side of his bed slightly and looks away from the camera. A selfie of Riley. He's a fat, white, bearded transmasc guy with blue eyes, several facial piercings, and a medium-length head of green hair shaved on the sides. He's extremely hairy all over his torso. He's smiling at the camera with his hand propping up his head as he hangs off the side of his bed slightly. A selfie of Riley. He's a fat, white, bearded transmasc guy with blue eyes, several facial piercings, and a medium-length head of green hair shaved on the sides. He's extremely hairy all over his torso. He's looking at the camera with a pouty expression and his hand propping up his head as he hangs off the side of his bed slightly.
October 15, 2025 at 2:52 PM
whamphetamine.bsky.social
OHHHHHHH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD HOW AM I GONNA COPE AFTER MAKING THIS REALIZATION LMFAOOOOOOO
October 13, 2025 at 4:18 AM
whamphetamine.bsky.social
a coworker sent this to me and i'm losing it lmfao
A crayon drawing of the Spirit Halloween logo, but instead of saying "SPIRIT" it says "FAGGOT"
October 10, 2025 at 3:18 PM
whamphetamine.bsky.social
i got the opportunity to tell my therapist about the squishy toys we have at my store rn, and she got SO EXCITED because she works with kids a lot and they always use tactile toys to work through trauma sessions!!!! we also have Sour Patch Kids branded squishy toys lol
A Google search screenshot of a Swedish Fish squishy toy
October 9, 2025 at 3:37 PM
whamphetamine.bsky.social
👀🤪🔪🔪🔪
a screenshot of the gif in the original post. i got "the secret second killer"
October 8, 2025 at 6:15 PM
whamphetamine.bsky.social
i got my covid + flu vaccines today!!
A selfie of Riley. He is a white, plus size man with glasses, a beard, long green hair pulled back, and blue eyes. He's wearing a maroon t-shirt with one sleeve rolled up to show off a vaccine bandaid on his upper arm.
October 7, 2025 at 4:24 PM
whamphetamine.bsky.social
i love this stupid tweet, it fits me to a T
Screenshotted tweet from @doefaced on October 2, 2024: "Trans guys will be like "I was suuuch a hot girl before I transitioned" and then they show u pics and its just. Like the most miserable guy you've ever seen w a bob and winged eyeliner" A selfie of pre-HRT Riley from 2017. He's white, plus size, and much more feminine, with a short blue bob haircut, heavy makeup, winged eyeliner, glasses, blue eyes, and red painted hoop earrings. A recently selfie of Riley. He is now very hairy. His shaggy mullet is dark green, and he has a thick dark beard. He's not wearing glasses in this selfie, but he is smiling and making a peace sign.
October 7, 2025 at 2:36 PM
whamphetamine.bsky.social
i love working here sometimes lmao
A Facebook post from OP: "I just witnessed the funniest interaction between a mom and her daughter in the parking lot. 😭😭😭 Little girl: Okay, and I- I will TRY not to hit you guys with the hitter. [She had one of the circus-themed kids' giant hammers] Mom: No, okay- there is no TRY. You WILL NOT hit ANY of us with the hitter, okay? Little girl: [dejectedly] Yes, mamma, but if I do— Mom: You will have it taken away if you hit me, okay? You know that's not okay to do. Little girl: [sighs exasperatedly] Okaaaaaaaaaay, UGH."
October 4, 2025 at 3:25 PM
whamphetamine.bsky.social
i dyed my hair green today 💚💚💚 HAPPY HALLOWEEN 2ND EVERYBODY
A selfie of Riley. He's white and fat with a thick reddish beard, glasses, blue eyes, freckles, piercings, and rosy cheeks. His previously dark hair is now emerald green. He's making a neutral face at the camera. A selfie of Riley. He's white and fat with a thick reddish beard, glasses, blue eyes, freckles, piercings, and rosy cheeks. His previously dark hair is now emerald green. Same angle, but this time he's smiling at the camera. A selfie of Riley. He's white and fat with a thick reddish beard, glasses, blue eyes, freckles, piercings, and rosy cheeks. His previously dark hair is now emerald green. Same angle yet again, but he's also smiling AND winking at the camera.
October 2, 2025 at 3:52 PM
whamphetamine.bsky.social
i do not remember ordering these last night but i guess i'm dyeing my hair green tonight????? (i'm not looking forward to bleaching my hair but y'know, gotta be ready for halloween)
A screenshot of an Amazon order of two items. One is Clairol 20 volume crème developer, and the other is Good Dye Young brand semi-permanent hair dye in a dark green shade.
October 1, 2025 at 3:40 PM
whamphetamine.bsky.social
aight so uh. one chance at top surgery is now off the table
A screenshot of the Genderbands Transition Grant Fund page. It reads: "UNFORTUNATELY we will not be able to open our grant applications for fall 2025. Genderbands' Transition Grant Fund is dependent on fundraising we do during the previous year. Due to multiple years of low funding, Genderbands does not have the resources to offer grants for this year."
October 1, 2025 at 1:58 PM
whamphetamine.bsky.social
i already feel better after making this. like the smoke detector is still chirping but at least i'm too dehydrated, too exhausted, and too hilarious to cry anymore
September 28, 2025 at 8:42 PM
whamphetamine.bsky.social
just in case anyone wants memes
A zoomed in photo of Georgia, an orange tabby who is mid-meow. The same photo as before, but with question marks all over it.
September 27, 2025 at 1:46 PM
whamphetamine.bsky.social
also i caught her mid-meow earlier lmao #catsky #orangetabby
A selfie. The two subjects in the selfie are Riley, a white, bearded, fat transmasc with glasses and rosy cheeks, and Georgia, a fluffy, orange tabby cat. Riley is leaning into Georgia while facing the camera with a smile, and Georgia is facing Riley, sniffing his face. A selfie. The two subjects in the selfie are Riley, a white, bearded, fat transmasc with glasses and rosy cheeks, and Georgia, a fluffy, orange tabby cat. Riley is leaning into Georgia while facing the camera with a smile, and Georgia is also facing the camera with her mouth open (she was meowing right as the photo was taken).
September 27, 2025 at 1:34 PM
whamphetamine.bsky.social
a pretty lil Georgia for your feed, messere
A side profile photo of Georgia, a large, medium-hair, female orange tabby cat. She has long whiskers and big paws, and she's sitting on the back of a stained, off-white couch. A three-fourths perspective photo of Georgia, a large, medium-hair, female orange tabby cat. She has long whiskers and big paws, and she's sitting on the back of a stained, off-white couch. A photo of Georgia, a large, medium-hair, female orange tabby cat. She has long whiskers and big paws, and she's sitting on the back of a stained, off-white couch. Her eyes are also yellow. She looks like a little princess (and she is, by the way.)
September 27, 2025 at 1:30 PM
whamphetamine.bsky.social
i posted a tiktok making fun of kirk-mourners
a user by the name "banshee lunaris" comments: "i better not see one post when Joe kicks the bucket then." OP responded: "what about me makes you think i care about a single president, current or former"
September 25, 2025 at 1:09 AM
whamphetamine.bsky.social
i just checked my spam text folder and like. what the fuck is up with ex-friends texting me so much lately lmao
A screenshot of a text, sent Wednesday September 17th 2025. The number is censored. The text reads, "i wish i could bottle our old vibes and uncork them today"
September 24, 2025 at 4:35 PM
whamphetamine.bsky.social
two years ago i painted a GIANT wooden canvas i found by the dumpsters and i still love this painting to this day
A photo of a large painting by Riley. The painting has a mostly dry-brushed black background, and in the foreground is a highly saturated skull with an octopus inside it. It's painted in bright, UV-reactive colors, specifically neon orange, neon green, and a bright sky-blue.
September 23, 2025 at 4:26 AM