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Gay Jews, don't make it bad.
Come to Berkeley, and feed my cat.
Remember, to let my cat back inside.
Then you can give him, his cat medication.
May 25, 2023 at 4:51 PM
When a misaligned joke-bot starts tickling people to death, former cop Dean Heist must come out of retirement for his first case since the death of his wife. This fall: "Don't Make Me Laugh"
May 14, 2023 at 8:32 PM
Nature is American
May 13, 2023 at 10:06 PM
"Who even smokes weed anymore? Just do ketamine like a normal person"
May 4, 2023 at 5:18 PM
This isn't the only way to get demons in your penis, but it is by far the easiest
May 1, 2023 at 5:55 PM
I have 4 legs in the morning, 700 legs in the evening, I find it hard to enjoy the things I used to, I have difficulty getting out of the bed in the morning
May 1, 2023 at 5:09 AM
In order to spend time with his cool new team of attorneys, executive James Bale must find more and more ways to get into legal trouble. This summer: "BALE BONDS"
April 25, 2023 at 8:06 PM
acausal decision theory bf, acausal decision gf
April 24, 2023 at 4:28 PM
I talked about you to my therapist today (good)
April 21, 2023 at 3:32 AM
"The Sacred Emperor's ninth decree demands a test, administered every three years, to discover the most valiant souls of each- HEY SHUT THE FUCK UP, JESUS FUCKING CHRIST BE FUCKING QUIET YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE. I WILL FUCK YOU UP. SAY I WONT - MAKE MY FUCKING DAY. FUCKING DO IT SAY ONE MOR
April 21, 2023 at 12:29 AM
ah yes, my abs - something that both exists and is possible to exercise by laughing
April 18, 2023 at 9:23 PM
violence begets violence (good)
April 18, 2023 at 2:09 PM
Again, we are not talking about death, we are talking about 3d printers
April 18, 2023 at 2:09 PM
The empathy I learned from making pizzas and waiting tables in my youth never faded. When you have access to "maybe they are having an exhausting day", the world looks less like a machine designed to get you personally and more like a place where the small kindnesses you can do are meaningful.
April 11, 2023 at 10:02 PM
become as strong as you can, so when the time comes that you see someone who needs help, you can step in

practice small acts when you can - serious situations have quickly closing time windows

tell the bystander effect "NOT TODAY"
April 11, 2023 at 8:01 PM
rationalist critics - a guy kicking in the (unlocked) door of a chemistry conference, yelling "WOW THIS IS BORING", grabbing a paper out of someone's hand "YEah but What about MUSIC? Where's the JOY?HUH HUH HUH HUH????"
April 11, 2023 at 7:03 PM
close one - almost sent someone a screenshot with "24/7 friendship simulator" still visible in the searchbar
April 11, 2023 at 5:06 PM
Me quietly sobbing into bowl #3 of the sexy bee cereal: "... hey there's a coloring thing on the box"
April 11, 2023 at 5:06 PM
My wife: *Texts me about how she was brought to tears by her grandmother's 100th birthday celebration at the local church*

Me who almost cried earlier thinking about Gohan defeating Cell: "Definitely an emotional day"
April 11, 2023 at 5:04 PM
At least one of ζ(5), ζ(7), ζ(9), ζ(11) is irrational, but we don't know which
April 10, 2023 at 7:02 PM
Your mother and I will be proud of you, whatever you choose
April 10, 2023 at 5:21 PM
please leave a comment on my webzone
April 10, 2023 at 4:38 PM