It's called coleslaw, it's raw vegetables
*American audience visibly losing interest*
... erm... drenched in mayonnaise
*their eyes brighten agreeably*

when i was at my dad's place growing up he'd always heat beans up in the can they came in and just feed us that one time he hit me for asking if he could put cut up hotdogs in it like mom anyways that's why i think i'm bad with remembering and i'm angry all the time

i'm so good at listening to women

mrs. niche internet micro celebrity please signal boost this tweet where i harass a woman

i feel like if i was the last person on earth and i fucked up my reading glasses i could probably through trial and error polish some glass and get something to work

there's never been a worse time to be a mass shooter super cliché nobody even pretends to think you're cool anymore etc etc

dogs getting picked up: i am a normal animal with normal animal bones

me trying to impress a girl with dyed blonde hair who wore a maga hat to the bar: i think we should be allowed to hunt women for sport

cats: i'm slinky

sure hope i get some pussy soon

i hope the girl that posted this sees how far this man's wordplay has come and let's him hit

look i ABSOLUTELY understand the appeal of indie shit but who are these women (because i KNOW they exist or those songs wouldn't exist) listening to men sing shit like sober up and broken and being like i need him in my pussy NOW