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@webjargon.bsky.social
· Nov 21
I didn’t come here to tweet.
I cleaned up dog piss with the pants I wanted to wear. Luckily it was a dream.
October 10, 2025 at 2:01 PM
I cleaned up dog piss with the pants I wanted to wear. Luckily it was a dream.
I’ve swallowed almost every piece of gum I’ve ever eaten. My little macroplastics.
August 1, 2025 at 1:14 AM
I’ve swallowed almost every piece of gum I’ve ever eaten. My little macroplastics.
Day number like 5,397 of wondering why the fuck people listen to turnstile
June 5, 2025 at 7:14 PM
Day number like 5,397 of wondering why the fuck people listen to turnstile
The who Dr who who cares
April 29, 2025 at 9:44 PM
The who Dr who who cares
A bumper sticker if the “baby on board” was also the driver: “My other diaper is a Tesla.” Thank you.
April 28, 2025 at 2:40 AM
A bumper sticker if the “baby on board” was also the driver: “My other diaper is a Tesla.” Thank you.
I got canceled for not singing in a Kermit voice at karaoke.
March 22, 2025 at 2:41 AM
I got canceled for not singing in a Kermit voice at karaoke.
San Fransisco is full of the hottest lesbians that know nothing about me.
March 21, 2025 at 10:26 PM
San Fransisco is full of the hottest lesbians that know nothing about me.
Can you believe that we have been buying the internet on the internet for all these years?
March 10, 2025 at 5:14 AM
Can you believe that we have been buying the internet on the internet for all these years?
I did an okay rendition of Damn, I Wish I Was Your Lover, but then KILLED a version of Possum Kingdom
March 8, 2025 at 6:02 AM
I did an okay rendition of Damn, I Wish I Was Your Lover, but then KILLED a version of Possum Kingdom
It’s unbelievable that I’m allowed to even feel like this for no reason other than a chemical imbalance.
February 22, 2025 at 12:14 AM
It’s unbelievable that I’m allowed to even feel like this for no reason other than a chemical imbalance.
2025 and people are still out there driving hummers, eh?
February 5, 2025 at 3:49 PM
2025 and people are still out there driving hummers, eh?
Pooped so much I’m nervous it’ll throw off my bowling game.
February 5, 2025 at 3:13 AM
Pooped so much I’m nervous it’ll throw off my bowling game.
Someone steal my credit card!
February 2, 2025 at 6:13 PM
Someone steal my credit card!
青空 広がる 雲さえ
いつかは ちぎれてゆくけ
いつかは ちぎれてゆくけ
February 2, 2025 at 5:53 PM
青空 広がる 雲さえ
いつかは ちぎれてゆくけ
いつかは ちぎれてゆくけ
Champagne supermustang in the sky
February 1, 2025 at 6:48 PM
Champagne supermustang in the sky
My guilty pleasure: impersonating a judge
February 1, 2025 at 6:25 PM
My guilty pleasure: impersonating a judge
Everywhere is just somewhere else.
January 31, 2025 at 12:11 PM
Everywhere is just somewhere else.
I have less than six months to fix every problem ever.
January 31, 2025 at 5:04 AM
I have less than six months to fix every problem ever.
No Shirt
No Shoes
No Coitus
No Shoes
No Coitus
January 27, 2025 at 3:52 PM
No Shirt
No Shoes
No Coitus
No Shoes
No Coitus
Don’t send me that Ms Honey gif unless you mean business. Or pleasure.
January 24, 2025 at 9:26 PM
Don’t send me that Ms Honey gif unless you mean business. Or pleasure.