its like every day of my life is just wasting time so i dont go insane by how much i've never done anything, how much my life feels wasted. I just want to feel normal, i want my brain to work, i want my BODY to work, i want the country i live in to not feel dangerous. I just want to have a life.

I just.. it hurts so much.. i trusted you with my heart, after sharing with you how.. hard that was for me to do, why it was so hard. And i just.. i feel so.. used, and thrown away, and betrayed.. and i just want the pain to stop,, i just want to feel worth loving,, to for once not feel broken,,

I.. i put.. so much trust in you.. i told you my deepest vulnerabilities, my worst trauma,, you let me feel like i was safe to take off the layers and layers of armor that keep me from forming bonds.. that keep me from getting hurt.. I just.. it tears me up inside. I dont know if any of it was real.

Need

GGGGROOOAH RAAAAARGH GRAAAAHHH

yes :3

Im just so fucking worried something will happen that makes everything collapse again like it did before it has me on edge all the time and i just dont feel like i can socialize with hardly anybody i had started to get close to i hate this so much

I try to be :< im sorry people keep doing this to you.

People suck, im sorry

Aw :(

I feel like such a ball of nerves and im so anxious about just,, things happening that make it hurt to be around people i used to talk to almost daily and now i barely feel like i can talk to them at all. i just.. wanna cry myself into a coma and recede back to what was safe.. im so stressed and sad

I feel like im gonna fall apart and have an emotional breakdown if i.. if certain things happen around me, just because of how painful they would be to watch,, i get a knot in my stomach every time i see an active vc and then worry myself out of joining it and make myself feel sick all night..