I would rather relocate to a different planet, we've already found similar earth like planets and it's just a matter of not having a shitty politician leading the colony.

This is obviously for recording videos with but since I'm getting a big expensive camera for the mouth I have also thought about using it interchangeably for streaming games with my avatar.

I've never streamed before but I'm down for doing it to change things up.

I'm also working on getting my DIY eye and mouth tracking set up, I was going to do this last year but things got in the way.

Like I don't even know why she unblocked me in the first place, if you hate my guts so much why do it?

She's run my patience at this point and I'll just go make new friends instead. Don't tell me to "move on" if you're gonna go after me in a discord we shared months after everything happened.

I will. Send the playlist.

You can't. Filesize limits.

These are my closing thoughts on the situation between us, I have an album planned and intend to increase my following in 2026 but I won't be surprised if she see's this or one of her friends do. People can change, and that's something I want her to know so she's not scared of me anymore.

Even if she did reach out to me, I'd tell her we can stay friends like we both promised. And with all the removing I've had to do these last few months I could do with friends I know, trust and potentially make content with.

But I still thought about her to this day, does she still hate my guts or was she interested in the new me? trying to get my attention from a distance? It's thoughts like these that I have to be careful with because they can easily mislead me again like when I asked her out.

Which leads to this post, the past. I never contacted Zyr with my new identity but she somehow still knows who I am when she got me banned from a Discord in July, I didn't do anything but I had to think about it for a bit, it was like she watching me but I didn't care because I wanted to move on.

June is when everything started to change, I had been looking to reinvent my self and change my sona since 2024 and I did it. I made Vyraxion and gave up art and went back to music. A way to completely rid myself of everything that has happened in the past up until this point so I would feel better.

Fast forward to early 2025, I did try to contact her through an alt and a friend to apologize about what happened but she didn't want to hear it, I gave up and stopped in May.

This was the realization that I crossed her boundaries, combined with her anxiety, fears and asexuality it made me realize how much I hurt her just from a single text message. I was hurt just as much, and with my already low mood I spent November and December 2024 spiralling and feeling HORRIBLE.

What came next is what led to me being blocked because one day in November 2024 I asked her if she wanted to hang out and do something special like watching a movie and see if "anything clicks" and I later found out that day I was ghosted and blocked.

I wanted to ask her on a date before discovering she was Asexual, and, my heart basically dropped. I eventually ended up telling her what I wanted to do and we just agreed to staying friends.