Everyone praises Michael Jordan for his crafty lil' pushoffs but when an *immigrant* does it, Pacer fans are like "foul" smh.

I asked the 8-year-old if she knew what an immigrant was.

"It's like if someone from Africa or Asia or North Carolina comes to live in America."

"At school, my friend Mason was being dickless."

*dad chokes on water—almost dies*

"...he was being what?"

"DICKLESS. He was acting so crazy I couldn't even believe it."

Very proud of my 4-year-old's vocabulary and spending the rest of this car ride practicing enunciating the word "ridiculous."

"Dad, can you play the song... I don't know what it's called or who it's by, but it goes like... (*hums briefly*) 'RELICS AND ROSY CHEESE.'"

...I don't know what is funnier: her description, or that I immediately knew it was 'Wildest Dreams' by Taylor Swift.