i'm on gentoo linux, but i would be happy with any lightweight linux distro that doesn't come with any bloatware. maybe debian desktop. i really prefer portage for desktop over apt, though. my server is running ubuntu.

i like xfce4, it's pretty light and works well for me.

i use airsonic, the UI is messy but it's all 100% my own (no required account on a third-party service..)