Victoria Duncan
@victoriaduncan.bsky.social
Autistic woman writing about autism, neurodiversity and neuronormative culture. She/her.
Ooh! I'll have to look into those.
November 10, 2025 at 11:22 PM
Ooh! I'll have to look into those.
Yup, if you price those out on a grocery store app I'm pretty sure you came out ahead. Did you subscribe to a farm box?
November 10, 2025 at 11:09 PM
Yup, if you price those out on a grocery store app I'm pretty sure you came out ahead. Did you subscribe to a farm box?
It's the weird gremlin smile for me 😬
November 9, 2025 at 4:23 PM
It's the weird gremlin smile for me 😬
Yes, this is it! They usually stay closer to whatever their first impression of you was rather than letting the diagnosis take over how they think of you.
November 9, 2025 at 2:58 PM
Yes, this is it! They usually stay closer to whatever their first impression of you was rather than letting the diagnosis take over how they think of you.
Yes, I can answer some questions
November 9, 2025 at 2:58 AM
Yes, I can answer some questions
"Overcoming autism" is a pretty unwelcome topic within the autistic community. It's delusional and in poor taste to speak of "willpower" in this context.
This is my one and only warning that I will not entertain this perspective and I don't want it in my replies.
This is my one and only warning that I will not entertain this perspective and I don't want it in my replies.
November 9, 2025 at 2:28 AM
"Overcoming autism" is a pretty unwelcome topic within the autistic community. It's delusional and in poor taste to speak of "willpower" in this context.
This is my one and only warning that I will not entertain this perspective and I don't want it in my replies.
This is my one and only warning that I will not entertain this perspective and I don't want it in my replies.
Yeah we have legal protections for disability in the workplace but they're pretty flimsy in practice; there are many ways to push out or avoid hiring disabled employees. Official disclosure doesn't feel like much of a protection to me - I still see value but not for job security necessarily.
November 9, 2025 at 2:21 AM
Yeah we have legal protections for disability in the workplace but they're pretty flimsy in practice; there are many ways to push out or avoid hiring disabled employees. Official disclosure doesn't feel like much of a protection to me - I still see value but not for job security necessarily.
I agree, people are much better about it if they get to know you before they learn you're autistic. If they hear about the autism first they don't know what to expect and tend to go to the stereotypes.
November 9, 2025 at 2:18 AM
I agree, people are much better about it if they get to know you before they learn you're autistic. If they hear about the autism first they don't know what to expect and tend to go to the stereotypes.
I'm not sure what you mean by overcoming autism. I believe autistic people can live full lives with dignity, but autism is a permanent genetic condition. It can't be cured and it doesn't go away.
November 9, 2025 at 2:16 AM
I'm not sure what you mean by overcoming autism. I believe autistic people can live full lives with dignity, but autism is a permanent genetic condition. It can't be cured and it doesn't go away.
Yes, this is a other way it could go. I'm very careful in these types of posts not to frame anything as advice or universal. I'm just sharing something I do.
November 9, 2025 at 2:12 AM
Yes, this is a other way it could go. I'm very careful in these types of posts not to frame anything as advice or universal. I'm just sharing something I do.
Some people get a little uncomfortable and flustered around autistic people and do weird stuff they normally wouldn't. It's not our fault!
November 9, 2025 at 1:50 AM
Some people get a little uncomfortable and flustered around autistic people and do weird stuff they normally wouldn't. It's not our fault!
Forgot to add: This also gives me a chance to suss out the workplace and the team. If they don't seem safe, I can stay undercover. If they do, I can disclose and have some interesting conversations and maybe get to do some advocacy.
November 9, 2025 at 1:47 AM
Forgot to add: This also gives me a chance to suss out the workplace and the team. If they don't seem safe, I can stay undercover. If they do, I can disclose and have some interesting conversations and maybe get to do some advocacy.
Have you disclosed? Not disclosed? Dropped hints? Sent up a smoke signal? What's your approach?
November 9, 2025 at 1:38 AM
Have you disclosed? Not disclosed? Dropped hints? Sent up a smoke signal? What's your approach?
I've done this on a couple of contracts now, and one leader didn't know I was autistic and this one seems a lot more dialed in. It gives me an interesting nuance, and an element of randomness, that I didn't get with the up-front disclosure style or, of course, the undercover approach.
November 9, 2025 at 1:38 AM
I've done this on a couple of contracts now, and one leader didn't know I was autistic and this one seems a lot more dialed in. It gives me an interesting nuance, and an element of randomness, that I didn't get with the up-front disclosure style or, of course, the undercover approach.
But they don't get to validate any of their assumptions, ask any questions, or get me to explain anything. It's up to them to theorize if they choose, and ultimately they just have to go by my work and how I show up. They have to treat me like everyone else - at least in theory.
November 9, 2025 at 1:38 AM
But they don't get to validate any of their assumptions, ask any questions, or get me to explain anything. It's up to them to theorize if they choose, and ultimately they just have to go by my work and how I show up. They have to treat me like everyone else - at least in theory.
BUT: I have not disclosed. So they can't bring it up or ask any questions. I have to open that door for them if I want to have a direct conversation.
What this means is they get what I consider to be key context - the knowledge that I'm autistic. They get a hint that might explain any surprises.
What this means is they get what I consider to be key context - the knowledge that I'm autistic. They get a hint that might explain any surprises.
November 9, 2025 at 1:38 AM
BUT: I have not disclosed. So they can't bring it up or ask any questions. I have to open that door for them if I want to have a direct conversation.
What this means is they get what I consider to be key context - the knowledge that I'm autistic. They get a hint that might explain any surprises.
What this means is they get what I consider to be key context - the knowledge that I'm autistic. They get a hint that might explain any surprises.
SO: I'm getting vibes that my direct leader may have read my profile. She's told me I'm highly focused, process-driven, structured, analytical. These aren't obvious adjectives for someone with my writing background but they are in my profile and echo how people tend to react to me.
November 9, 2025 at 1:38 AM
SO: I'm getting vibes that my direct leader may have read my profile. She's told me I'm highly focused, process-driven, structured, analytical. These aren't obvious adjectives for someone with my writing background but they are in my profile and echo how people tend to react to me.
Yes, I got that, I'm agreeing with you!
November 8, 2025 at 7:13 PM
Yes, I got that, I'm agreeing with you!
Yup, if you get something like cedar mulch or bark chips it probably will wander a bit when it rains; you could add some retaining logs to keep it in place (sandbox style) or just have the chore of occasionally raking it back in place & adding more on top as it deconposes
November 8, 2025 at 5:33 PM
Yup, if you get something like cedar mulch or bark chips it probably will wander a bit when it rains; you could add some retaining logs to keep it in place (sandbox style) or just have the chore of occasionally raking it back in place & adding more on top as it deconposes
Would gravel be too hot/harsh on Rocco's paws? I've seen doggy daycare facilities with gravel lots for the dogs and you can still park on it. I'd also be contemplating some kind of organic mulch, whatever would be safe for Rocco.
November 8, 2025 at 4:20 PM
Would gravel be too hot/harsh on Rocco's paws? I've seen doggy daycare facilities with gravel lots for the dogs and you can still park on it. I'd also be contemplating some kind of organic mulch, whatever would be safe for Rocco.