Nothing like a windows down less than jake car jam session being suddenly interrupted by "wet fart noises." Sharing a streaming account with a 9 year old is A+++
April 30, 2025 at 9:47 PM
Nothing like a windows down less than jake car jam session being suddenly interrupted by "wet fart noises." Sharing a streaming account with a 9 year old is A+++
9 year old at wake up time this morning: I was thinking and I don't know why I'm scared of the Halloween skeleton downstairs when I have one inside my body.
March 20, 2025 at 6:34 PM
9 year old at wake up time this morning: I was thinking and I don't know why I'm scared of the Halloween skeleton downstairs when I have one inside my body.
What a great night for college Vicky.
March 9, 2025 at 5:46 AM
What a great night for college Vicky.
Going to see armor for sleep, hellogoodbye, and boysnightout tonight. College me is thrilled, newly 45 year old me is not.
March 8, 2025 at 2:37 PM
Going to see armor for sleep, hellogoodbye, and boysnightout tonight. College me is thrilled, newly 45 year old me is not.
You ever mean to start a new book and carry it around with you all day and put it next to you wherever you go and then realize at the end of the day you never opened it once? Or are you a normal person?
March 5, 2025 at 2:34 AM
You ever mean to start a new book and carry it around with you all day and put it next to you wherever you go and then realize at the end of the day you never opened it once? Or are you a normal person?
Nothing more fun than being a non-responder to the measles vaccination and reading about all the measles outbreaks 👀
February 15, 2025 at 8:07 PM
Nothing more fun than being a non-responder to the measles vaccination and reading about all the measles outbreaks 👀
Overheard in Brooklyn:
Girl 1: yeah but it's not mustard.
Girl 2: what is it then?
Girl 1: it's MUSTARRRRRRRRRRRRD
Girl 1: yeah but it's not mustard.
Girl 2: what is it then?
Girl 1: it's MUSTARRRRRRRRRRRRD
February 15, 2025 at 7:32 PM
Overheard in Brooklyn:
Girl 1: yeah but it's not mustard.
Girl 2: what is it then?
Girl 1: it's MUSTARRRRRRRRRRRRD
Girl 1: yeah but it's not mustard.
Girl 2: what is it then?
Girl 1: it's MUSTARRRRRRRRRRRRD
Stabbed myself with a grocery store rose thorn making a little bouquet for my kid. What super power am I about to get??
February 14, 2025 at 6:15 PM
Stabbed myself with a grocery store rose thorn making a little bouquet for my kid. What super power am I about to get??
We can send cars to space... Can someone invent a little pop up timer for my tea that tells me when it's ready to drink?
February 10, 2025 at 6:38 PM
We can send cars to space... Can someone invent a little pop up timer for my tea that tells me when it's ready to drink?
Is there horror bluesky and can I get all y'all's letterboxd and storygraph accts so I can find new movies and books thanks!?!
January 28, 2025 at 3:25 PM
Is there horror bluesky and can I get all y'all's letterboxd and storygraph accts so I can find new movies and books thanks!?!
I am "if I take off my glasses I can hear better" years old.
January 16, 2025 at 2:41 PM
I am "if I take off my glasses I can hear better" years old.
Wake up, friends. New Batman villain just dropped.
December 22, 2024 at 9:35 PM
Wake up, friends. New Batman villain just dropped.
Y'all ever sit around and think about how relevant good charlotte's "lifestyles of the rich and famous" is still? Yeah, me neither....
November 14, 2024 at 1:36 PM
Y'all ever sit around and think about how relevant good charlotte's "lifestyles of the rich and famous" is still? Yeah, me neither....
Happy Turn Off Motion Smoothing On Your Relative's TV Day to all who celebrate.
November 23, 2023 at 3:19 PM
Happy Turn Off Motion Smoothing On Your Relative's TV Day to all who celebrate.
My forever "weird fact" about me: I gave birth during the New York Marathon. It was on TV while I was delivering. Now I can't watch it.
November 5, 2023 at 2:07 PM
My forever "weird fact" about me: I gave birth during the New York Marathon. It was on TV while I was delivering. Now I can't watch it.
Just over here reading Poe for spooky season. Sitting in the exam room at the GYN when suddenly the machine in the next room over starts in with a baby heartbeat.
October 17, 2023 at 4:36 PM
Just over here reading Poe for spooky season. Sitting in the exam room at the GYN when suddenly the machine in the next room over starts in with a baby heartbeat.
If you didn't get to watch Joan Jett shoot a t-shirt cannon into a crowd at Barclay's center today, I feel bad for you. It was a thing.
October 16, 2023 at 1:37 AM
If you didn't get to watch Joan Jett shoot a t-shirt cannon into a crowd at Barclay's center today, I feel bad for you. It was a thing.
When you binge the fall of the house of usher then go to bed and the dishwasher starts up, making unexpected squishy noises. No thank you, episode 2.
October 15, 2023 at 5:15 AM
When you binge the fall of the house of usher then go to bed and the dishwasher starts up, making unexpected squishy noises. No thank you, episode 2.
Someone let me know when we get to ASSASSIN'S CREED: WOODSTOCK in the game franchise timeline.
October 14, 2023 at 7:05 PM
Someone let me know when we get to ASSASSIN'S CREED: WOODSTOCK in the game franchise timeline.
Honestly though, has the scientific community studied why we forget cooking instructions the moment we throw away the package? If not, what are scientists even for?
October 12, 2023 at 9:07 PM
Honestly though, has the scientific community studied why we forget cooking instructions the moment we throw away the package? If not, what are scientists even for?
Do you have enough room in your dresser for all your clothes to be clean at once or are you normal?
October 9, 2023 at 2:30 AM
Do you have enough room in your dresser for all your clothes to be clean at once or are you normal?
Theory: the amount of haircut videos one watches is the direct inverse of the amount of haircuts one gets.
October 6, 2023 at 2:26 AM
Theory: the amount of haircut videos one watches is the direct inverse of the amount of haircuts one gets.
Not me thinking I could read while the Pikmin being thrown noise is happening ad nauseam.
October 1, 2023 at 12:17 AM
Not me thinking I could read while the Pikmin being thrown noise is happening ad nauseam.
Quotes from a 3rd grader:
E: What's this band? I like it.
Me: They're called something corporate.
E: Heh it just sounds like you forgot the first word.
E: What's this band? I like it.
Me: They're called something corporate.
E: Heh it just sounds like you forgot the first word.
September 28, 2023 at 8:41 PM
Quotes from a 3rd grader:
E: What's this band? I like it.
Me: They're called something corporate.
E: Heh it just sounds like you forgot the first word.
E: What's this band? I like it.
Me: They're called something corporate.
E: Heh it just sounds like you forgot the first word.