Had to buy eggs for the first time in close to a year because one of my layers got sick. IT'S NOT THE SAME.

Every Aries should own a wine glass made of 18/10 pot steel. You know why.

Eggs: *become expensive*
Me: This is ridiculous. I should get ducks.
America: I should get fascists.
Me: *gets ducks*
America: *gets fascists*
Me:...you know they don't lay eggs, right?
America: They'll eventually make eggs cheaper!
Me:...
America: *dissolving*
Me:...y'all want some eggs?

Whether or not they read it is on them. Whether or not I write it is on me.

When there's 4k people in the gd Walmart because a storm is rolling in and not one of them is the hot pharmacist who knows exactly how many chemicals my brain is missing and still adjusts his rolled up flannel sleeves in front of me.

When you have a kid in college everyone tells you how much it's going to derail your future. No one ever mentions that age 35 is heading toward this with no brakes.

Behold! This is the Stood Up to My Past Abuser Today Pie. There's another one on the counter for you if you've earned one too (continuing to exist counts as an act of defiance, go get pie).

Please enjoy the presence of His Lorjitude Wilbert Dinkley on your timeline. He also goes by Billy, Bilbert, Wilbutrin, and "ya big fuckin himbo". Doc thinks he's 2-3 years and at nearly 15 lbs is still a healthy weight. He volunteers as a RT at Couch Hospital, giving healing chest rumbles.

This was going to be a post about my rad new watch band, but now it's a post about how fuckin hard it is to get a pic of both that band and my one single nuck tat that doesn't make my hand look like a pufferfish who ate a turnip.

APOCALYPSE MEAT.

Bloom where you are awkwardly jammed.

Bruh, I think this is a bad idea, but I get it