Janel Comeau 🍁
@verybadllama.bsky.social
Writer, comedian, illustrator, blogger and international woman of mystery. Sworn enemy of the Swedish Yule Goat. Writer of jokes in The Beaverton and Cracked. 🇨🇦
Americans gathering their great-grandchildren to tell them the tale of the mortgage they are about to inherit
November 9, 2025 at 10:33 PM
Americans gathering their great-grandchildren to tell them the tale of the mortgage they are about to inherit
although Lilo and Stitch and The Ring came out so close together that it’s possible both casting directors independently went “we simply must have that little girl from Spirited Away”
November 9, 2025 at 7:59 PM
although Lilo and Stitch and The Ring came out so close together that it’s possible both casting directors independently went “we simply must have that little girl from Spirited Away”
these two characters are played by the same actress, and I like to imagine that when they were casting The Ring, their immediate first thought was “someone find out what the little girl from Lilo and Stitch is up to”
November 9, 2025 at 7:57 PM
these two characters are played by the same actress, and I like to imagine that when they were casting The Ring, their immediate first thought was “someone find out what the little girl from Lilo and Stitch is up to”
cannot believe that this creature lives in my house
November 7, 2025 at 6:49 PM
cannot believe that this creature lives in my house
closing the barn door after the horse is already three states away and co-hosting a racist podcast
November 4, 2025 at 3:44 AM
closing the barn door after the horse is already three states away and co-hosting a racist podcast
happy “take your dragon to work” day to all who celebrate
October 31, 2025 at 4:52 PM
happy “take your dragon to work” day to all who celebrate
I still make and enjoy Acadian food to this day, but it’s not a good sign when your main culinary influences are “mass deportation, bad soil, and harsh Canadian winter”.
October 29, 2025 at 12:38 AM
I still make and enjoy Acadian food to this day, but it’s not a good sign when your main culinary influences are “mass deportation, bad soil, and harsh Canadian winter”.
It’s time to be done with the phrase “mom and pop landlords”. Conjuring up a fictionalized image of grams and gramps scraping by on their meager rental income obscures the truth - these are real estate speculators from all walks of life who made high-risk investments on purpose.
October 14, 2025 at 9:44 PM
It’s time to be done with the phrase “mom and pop landlords”. Conjuring up a fictionalized image of grams and gramps scraping by on their meager rental income obscures the truth - these are real estate speculators from all walks of life who made high-risk investments on purpose.
“Desperate people are no longer lining up in droves for a chance to pay $1200 to have an extended sleepover with a stranger” is good news. This is good news for renters, for communities, and for future students.
But Globe and Mail begs you to think of the landlords.
But Globe and Mail begs you to think of the landlords.
October 14, 2025 at 9:44 PM
“Desperate people are no longer lining up in droves for a chance to pay $1200 to have an extended sleepover with a stranger” is good news. This is good news for renters, for communities, and for future students.
But Globe and Mail begs you to think of the landlords.
But Globe and Mail begs you to think of the landlords.
the landlord interviewed in this article is the owner of Granville Hall here in Halifax, a “student accommodation” not affiliated with any university, which charges nearly $1200/month to *share a bedroom* with a stranger
October 14, 2025 at 9:42 PM
the landlord interviewed in this article is the owner of Granville Hall here in Halifax, a “student accommodation” not affiliated with any university, which charges nearly $1200/month to *share a bedroom* with a stranger
every night my father goes outside to yell at this porcupine to stop eating his apple tree, and every night this porcupine makes eye contact with my father as it continues to eat his apple tree
October 12, 2025 at 11:58 PM
every night my father goes outside to yell at this porcupine to stop eating his apple tree, and every night this porcupine makes eye contact with my father as it continues to eat his apple tree
imagine overhearing your 12-year-old threaten to fuck their opponent’s mom over Xbox live and they are speaking to Bashar al-Assad
October 10, 2025 at 11:59 PM
imagine overhearing your 12-year-old threaten to fuck their opponent’s mom over Xbox live and they are speaking to Bashar al-Assad
boiling the oceans so a robot can check and see that you like Green Day and then recommend you a Green Day album that does not exist
October 7, 2025 at 12:55 PM
boiling the oceans so a robot can check and see that you like Green Day and then recommend you a Green Day album that does not exist
this is what my brain pictures when you tell me that you’re generating AI content
October 7, 2025 at 3:08 AM
this is what my brain pictures when you tell me that you’re generating AI content
are you filling up Howl’s Moving Castle
September 29, 2025 at 1:20 AM
are you filling up Howl’s Moving Castle
POV: you just ate a piece of cheese and your dog can smell it on your fingers
September 27, 2025 at 1:35 AM
POV: you just ate a piece of cheese and your dog can smell it on your fingers
Release the Earhart list! (of probable locations where Amelia Earhart’s plane crashed in the Pacific after running out of fuel, I guess, because there’s actually very little mystery about what happened to her)
September 26, 2025 at 10:23 PM
Release the Earhart list! (of probable locations where Amelia Earhart’s plane crashed in the Pacific after running out of fuel, I guess, because there’s actually very little mystery about what happened to her)
[standing in line to watch Green Day perform 45 minutes of musical criticism of the Bush administration] gosh I hope there are no politics at this rock festival
September 24, 2025 at 11:04 PM
[standing in line to watch Green Day perform 45 minutes of musical criticism of the Bush administration] gosh I hope there are no politics at this rock festival
if you’ve ever come to my page and thought “eh, her jokes are alright, but what I really want to see is bleak poetry about being sexually harassed while working at Zellers”, I have great news: my poem “Cutie With the Red Vest On” is out in @inkinthirds.bsky.social today!
September 22, 2025 at 10:35 PM
if you’ve ever come to my page and thought “eh, her jokes are alright, but what I really want to see is bleak poetry about being sexually harassed while working at Zellers”, I have great news: my poem “Cutie With the Red Vest On” is out in @inkinthirds.bsky.social today!
when my father tells me he’s having grilled meat and boiled potatoes for dinner for the 487th time in a row because “that’s what dinner is supposed to be”
September 22, 2025 at 8:37 PM
when my father tells me he’s having grilled meat and boiled potatoes for dinner for the 487th time in a row because “that’s what dinner is supposed to be”
trying not to watch the news right now, I don’t want any spoilers for the book I’m reading
September 21, 2025 at 9:07 PM
trying not to watch the news right now, I don’t want any spoilers for the book I’m reading
when I have to pretend I’m not sheltering John Oliver in my basement but the authorities can hear him yelling about rat erotica through the floorboards
September 18, 2025 at 1:23 AM
when I have to pretend I’m not sheltering John Oliver in my basement but the authorities can hear him yelling about rat erotica through the floorboards
I think most people only read the headlines of Beaverton articles, which is a real shame, because this one contains one of my finest jokes
September 18, 2025 at 12:09 AM
I think most people only read the headlines of Beaverton articles, which is a real shame, because this one contains one of my finest jokes
A couple of months ago I thought “hey I wonder if I can write stupid jokes for the internet AND incredibly bleak poetry” and now I am both surprised and delighted to announce that my first published poem is out in issue #17 of The Ana
September 17, 2025 at 12:45 AM
A couple of months ago I thought “hey I wonder if I can write stupid jokes for the internet AND incredibly bleak poetry” and now I am both surprised and delighted to announce that my first published poem is out in issue #17 of The Ana
me watching for the first leaf to fall so I can switch to a seasonal diet of hearty soups and rich stews
September 14, 2025 at 11:01 PM
me watching for the first leaf to fall so I can switch to a seasonal diet of hearty soups and rich stews