Me incapable of engaging w others

& its so frustrating & overwhelming emotionally to me
I hate that i feel that way & how much harder thats made tryna create anything at all

I’m sure some people think I’m kidding, but I’m not — people discover themselves while making art as often as people discover themselves by interacting with said art

removing humans from the equation at any point is a mistake

disgusting physical feeling that has persisted since yesterday w this discovery

Period of silence for a few years
& this sexual fixation on me

Tells me I don’t even know if I’m in the damn clear & eso bc he STILL doesn’t fucking take no for an answer w how even after me saying no he kept trying it in those messsges

& its fucking w my head i’ll fucking admit that much

Where he lives now (…assuming he hasn’t moved—idk what area of that city he lives in & if he still lives in that area or moved—)

& actively saved images of me too & was full on creeping on me & i had to get a number change because of

& knowing that he still kept tryna talk to me in 2023, after a

I live in the same city as him.

This isn’t just a case of someone online, this is someone who i used to take in person classes with in 2015 (i was 18 & he was 24/25 around then his shit began,,,)

& who kept trying to push for us hanging out in person

& the area of the city i live in is closer to

To me throughout 2019 up til 2020
Stopped & then sent something again in 2023

Is really messing w me.

Because now I don’t fucking know if this motherfucker even has stopped obsessing over me at all if even with a few years interval of no messages he still tries again

& worse yet is the fact that

Also coping rn w some things