i just hate public accounts man. HWKSUAKSJWJS nobody perceive me i want to write in my diary and if i sound like an idiot the rest of the world doesnt have to be subjected to it unless they choose to be

its not gooner shit its strictly academic (said in a way that makes you assume im unmedicated)

they tend to be more quiet than not just by nature. they are a lot of hushed murmurs and whimpers and pleas. they become more vocal the longer they’re going too though so it’s a little bit coaxing a little bit circumstance. they’ll likely be breathlessly moaning your name from start to finish

i think they consider themself a mother and they have ever since. i think she named them and everything. i think when layla comes she’s going to stare into her big baby eyes one day and apologize that she never got to meet her big sibling mercy or their dad. they think lucan would’ve ate her up

i think that’s a lot of the reason they have trouble healing from the calamity tbh. bc they just never recovered in a way that matters. its still a gaping wound on her soul to this day and though it has and does heal it weighs so heavy. i think she definitely still thinks about that baby

AHHHHH this is so sweet ty siren… ;__(\ made me cry BAHAHA it makes me happy that u think so!!! ur always so supportive of me and my work it means a lot 🥺💗

im always one crash out away from going off the deep end and becoming an abstractionist so unparsable that they diagnose me with female hysteria and cart me off

i just wanna be the kind of person that touches people with my work. i want it to resonate. it feels so lonely in my head sometimes i want to share what i see in my head so it’s not so lonely and i want to make people Get It. the vision

i think my problem is just that i want my work to be more refined but i feel like there’s a brick wall there. like my improvement stagnates at kinda mediocre and i can’t seem to find my way to the other side of it

im not a good storyteller i dont think LOL i’m not naturally skilled at crafting a meaningful narrative as much as i wish i was. which is only half the problem obviously but idk. just thinking. sometimes i think if i talk about it enough ill be able to find a way to overcome it but i never do

im gonna be pissed if i get medicated someday and realize i wasted all this time dragging my feet on getting medicated only for functioning to become a lot easier. i have a feeling its not that simple tho

it just makes me sad sometimes that it feels like ill never get to actualize and share what i see in my head… they make me so happy and they r so good but i spend every day saying Just trust me dude instead of putting pen to paper. executive dysfunction be like

i just don’t have the artistic ability to fulfill some of the ideas i do already have (<- guy who’s holding themself back for fear of failure) but also because it’ll make me sad if i dont get it right and itll take too much time anyway man. whatever

i just dont have any drawing motivation lately on top of having a lot of trouble with brainstorming for them in general lately. i dont even know what i’d draw