How come primary school children are encouraged to go to school in costumes, but secondary school children aren’t? Anybody who thinks that 11 (or 13, or 35) is “time to grow up”, is profoundly wrong.

happy Halloween!

I think I’ve found my new stage name

Today’s NYT Connections game brought back happy memories of Christmas 2024. Honestly, these coincidences mount up and up.

Life advice: never leave your phone microphone on while writing a work email in case you discover AFTER HAVING SENT IT that it took note of a conversation one of your children was having in the background.

How do they get AWAY with this? I mean, however American your accent might be, PRUSSIAN?!

This idea is an abomination.

… or was that just a hurried explanation when the police burst in?

Following yesterday’s column, I’ve received this spam. My usual gloomy trepidation about our communications being overheard and monitored by the mysterious Big Brother of techno-capitalism are tempered by the evidence that at least it got completely the wrong end of the stick.

Not bad for a first attempt!
(my Netflix series starts next week)

You can understand Lauren Sanchez having her phone out here. She must have worried the occasion wouldn’t otherwise be recorded.

As I just explained on TV, the tiny crossword visible in tonight’s opening shot was created by our brilliant team member Dan Peake and CAN BE PLAYED! To save you copying it off the television, here are photos of both these simple and cryptic versions. Happy New Year! We love you.

#OnlyConnect

HERE'S SOME EXCITING NEWS. This Christmas, we have made EIGHT Only Connect specials! Starting Monday night at 8pm, then 8.15 on Christmas Eve, and 8pm most nights from Boxing Day: a range of themes, wonderful returning teams, and some really lovely episodes. Merry Quizmas!

I wrote this about Chris McCausland last week. Tonight’s the final and we have literally bought a new television for it - like people did for the coronation in 1953.
#Strictly