Coincidences are just cosmic Easter eggs
December 8, 2025 at 2:04 AM
Coincidences are just cosmic Easter eggs
*bingo as bandit voice* yeah, babe
December 8, 2025 at 2:00 AM
*bingo as bandit voice* yeah, babe
It's not like they'd be asking him to identify a roseate spoonbill
December 5, 2025 at 10:34 PM
It's not like they'd be asking him to identify a roseate spoonbill
The WNBA where a wife can pass the ball to her wife who can shoot a three and then kiss her wife
December 5, 2025 at 4:53 PM
The WNBA where a wife can pass the ball to her wife who can shoot a three and then kiss her wife
I see a bag lunch in his future
December 3, 2025 at 9:11 PM
I see a bag lunch in his future
Trying to meet someone who shares your values = woke virtue signaling
Why won't these woke sluts fuck me?! Don't they know I'm rich?!
Why won't these woke sluts fuck me?! Don't they know I'm rich?!
December 3, 2025 at 7:23 PM
Trying to meet someone who shares your values = woke virtue signaling
Why won't these woke sluts fuck me?! Don't they know I'm rich?!
Why won't these woke sluts fuck me?! Don't they know I'm rich?!
This feels like the argument against universal healthcare: do you really want to be paying for Jeff Bezos to go to a doctor?!
December 2, 2025 at 8:52 PM
This feels like the argument against universal healthcare: do you really want to be paying for Jeff Bezos to go to a doctor?!
The President is going to be all right... since he lost the use of his left side in his latest stroke
December 1, 2025 at 8:27 PM
The President is going to be all right... since he lost the use of his left side in his latest stroke
Hell yeah, brother!
November 26, 2025 at 6:25 PM
Hell yeah, brother!
No meat-touching, please
November 26, 2025 at 3:45 AM
No meat-touching, please
All of Garfield minus Garfield
November 22, 2025 at 8:24 PM
All of Garfield minus Garfield
Unique, singular, one-of-a-kind
November 21, 2025 at 4:49 PM
Unique, singular, one-of-a-kind
The cow tools are poorly constructed!
November 12, 2025 at 7:07 PM
The cow tools are poorly constructed!
If I had to put up with all the presidents not demolishing the east wing to build a beautiful ballroom, other people can put up with Trump
November 9, 2025 at 6:08 PM
If I had to put up with all the presidents not demolishing the east wing to build a beautiful ballroom, other people can put up with Trump
I'd never heard of the guy until he died. If that were true for all billionaires maybe we could work something out
November 3, 2025 at 4:33 PM
I'd never heard of the guy until he died. If that were true for all billionaires maybe we could work something out
"A shaved ape that they taught to drink sparkling water" is a fucking bar
October 31, 2025 at 7:14 PM
"A shaved ape that they taught to drink sparkling water" is a fucking bar
Howling at "the wolf man"
October 24, 2025 at 5:46 AM
Howling at "the wolf man"